Emily Jordan Kalen

you guys i was funny in my twitter history right?!?!

top heroes ever: balto (updating this list as deserved)

ugh do you ever think about how much you love balto? i loooooove balto so much

tfw you realize thebomb.com redirects to thechive.com... @theCHIVE yall are smart

yall sims 4 is 75% off for black friday #treatyoself

only in new york can you remove over 10 garbage bags full of stuff you don't need anymore and your apartment will look exactly the same

was told by my manicurist that i have great nail beds... what did i do to deserve this supreme honor

"my two fears in life are tunafish and rodents" - @ElyseBurack

Lisnin to @SeanKingston and @Pink all day and there's nothing u can do to stop me

K well see ya in a few months twitter

I'd say I feel pretty damn honored @Jess_Kuh12

Wanna take this minute to thank everyone who puts up with me when I start conversations in Gchat, move to texts, and still responds my snaps

The best @DunkinDonuts in the world is on Cortlandt st. In the financial district. Everyone should go it's a miracle

Ugh sometimes I just want to capitalize a number for emphasis

You know spring came early when you gotta paint the 3 toes on each foot that show with your shoes

My mom upgraded @laur3n_higgins from "a bad egg" to "a catch"... Girl is making MOVES

Gotta pee but girl next to me on @MetroNorth is sleeping peacefully so I'll just take the good neighbor award instead

Lived my life thinking I had visited Yellowstone national park but it was actually Jellystone... Well yesterday my dream became reality

Re last tweet, I'm tots on a flight to montana

#WouldYouRather: be stuck on a plane with an angry hive of bees OR two full rows of Trump supporters wearing "make America great again" hats