not to be a self obsessed bitch but paris looks good on me

a few years ago a guy told me he thought i could run a sub-3 marathon someday and i laughed in his face. today i did a 2x30:00 steady state workout at 6:52 pace (at altitude). i’m finally beginning to think he might have been onto something

today i ran 14 miles and harvested probably over 200 cherry tomatoes from my garden

the cost of my chicago marathon: 6 gu gels: $2.50 bandit top: $87 janji half tights: $0 asics metaspeed edge: $0 bandit socks: $0 nike sunglasses: $0 cricut iron ons: $5 star clips: $4 bose headphones: $0 stryd pod: $0 coros watch: $0 coros hrm: $0 total: $98.50

i love the threads app because people will accuse me of rage baiting when i talk about how i ran 19 miles the day before i ran the chicago marathon 🤪 baby i’m training for a 100 miler this is like… a normal week for me right now

can we all agree that the “fuck ice” shorts for the chicago marathon go hard?

don’t worry i came up with something and he replied, so far i’ve managed to be super cool and chill about it

chat if you hypothetically matched (on a dating app) with a musician who you are a big fan of & you have a ticket to their upcoming tour… what on earth do u send as a first message without feeling like a total psychopath

got the most important part of my chicago marathon outfit sorted 👍

boston marathon cutoff discourse can’t hurt me if i wear my boston shirt on my jog

not sure what this says about me tbh

unfortunately for me i did cave and get back on raya

i was Really Mature and Smart today and did not run 5 extra miles to put me over 100 miles for the week and i’m very proud of myself and everyone else should be too

posting for my loyal fans (@Wade_in_America)

i posted a photo of the cookies i made for my Cocaine Bear film viewing party tomorrow night and instagram removed it & restricted my account until sept 11 2027 because i was “selling illegal drugs” DO YOU PEOPLE HAVE A SENSE OF HUMOR

5 minute PR yeah

another coworker liking me on a dating app

this portion of my hinge profile is like fucking CATNIP to a certain genre of man (specifically the nic cage part)

ran a 5 minute half marathon PR (1:33!) today at 6,000 ft with no taper while averaging 80 mpw for the last 7 weeks. manifesting doping allegations for myself this year 🙏✨🙂‍↕️