When my son's hamster died I placed it in a carrier bag ready for a burial after school. I later got a phone call from a teacher saying there was a dead hamster was in his lunch box. There is also a cheese roll buried in the garden.

Three years ago I wondered what would happen if I stopped reading my work emails. 109,086 unread emails later: 28% salary increase, two bonuses and four restricted stock awards. No one knows I don't read my email.

I run ultramarathons but when I visit the supermarket I always park as close to the front door as I can so I don't have to walk too far.

When I buy something from Amazon, I click "this is a gift" and write myself a gift note - they're free - so I pretend it's a present. Most recently I bought batteries and told myself "You are utterly sensational"

I'm a homeopath. It's all complete bullshit. All of science would have to be wildly wrong for this bollocks to work. But if people want to pay me to listen to their vague, wishy-washy non-symptoms, go "aww diddums" and give them a bag of sugar pills, who am I to argue?

I travel a lot for work and stay in hotels. When I check in I always 'accidentally' make sure the staff see a few fake passports and hear me on the phone taking in code to pretend I'm an international spy. I sell kitchen units.