hear to make frends and have a day
Goat city
Joined March 2014
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Pinned Tweet
I maintain that I am the most prolific ladies man to ever trap his head in the sunroof of a car
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magush retweeted
This has put some things into perspective and I’ve had a fun idea.I’m going to do this every two weeks, I have a nice pick for Southwell tomorrow if it wins I’m going to donate ALL of the profit to @vitiligosociety in honour of the best lady tipster around, @LeonnaMayor
My boss has text me saying we need to urgently discuss the definition of ‘petty cash’ first thing tomorrow
At the beginning of my annual salary review meeting I told my boss that distraction tactics will not work on me. After an hour of negotiations the staff toilet will now be painted my favourite shade of orange.
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The queue at the @PostOffice is a great time to fit a 30 minute workout in if you’re a busy go getter like I am #fitness
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My neighbour Bill is trying to sue me for spray painting football lines on his lawn even though I said he could play with me. What is wrong with people today?
A fungal foot infection is no laughing matter no matter how much I try to explain the funny side of it to my mother
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There is nothing funny about a grown man needing braces. I tried to explain this to the schoolchildren on the bus for 35 minutes
If a man with a moustache gives you the faintest of nods then immediately assume you’re being watched by an undercover detective
a true @WWEUniverse champion knows that 3 @McDonalds double cheeeburgers is a healthy balanced meal but 4 would be excessive.
I just threatened an aggressive fellow bus traveller with a tombstone pile driver and he said he was flattered but straight, what did he mean @VinceMcMahon ?
every time someone says wrestling is fake Santa Claus skips a chimney at Christmas. Think about that @piersmorgan
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trying to decide on my ring entrance song for when @MondayNightRaw finally decide on my debut date