The first gulp of natural sciences will make you an atheist, but at the bottom of the glass, God is waiting for you. — Werner Heizenberg

It was the most profound, powerful, and sacred experience of my life. It was short and sweet, yet in the midst of it I was everything and I was nothing. It was eternity too. It now feels like a distant dream, but a dream that lives on through a newfound source of reverence and awe for the sacred miracle of existence, which I am an inseparable part of. The potency of the 5-MeO-DMT experience goes beyond any experience I’ve had with or without substances. All I can summon is gratitude, awe and love for the Great Mystery, for God. The predominant quality of the experience was of radiant light, infinite love and transcendent wisdom. Even then, these words don’t do it justice. Surrendering myself completely, there was no darkness or fear to be seen or felt. Yet as soon as my ego tried to take any control of the experience by holding on to any part of it, the greatest fear appeared. I thus could only let go. Looking back on it to communicate the phenomena forces paradox. I, the subject, wasn’t there for any of it. It was pure being-ness with no one tending the shop. There was no object either, subject and object dissolved and diffused into infinite oneness. This DMT occasioned experience reminds me of the emptiness Buddhists calls Śūnyatā. Yet, contradictorily, it also contained everything. The whole universe was contained within this one experience, yet the universe was also illusory. Empty and full, at once. Paradoxical, confusing, and supremely enlightening. A most glorious irony. It felt alien, but it was also the spiritual home I’ve been longing for my whole life. It felt like a return to where my being came from, where the energy that makes me possible will return upon the death of this ephemeral material body I temporarily call home. The heart of it just was. Pure being. Spiritual wholeness. Mystical union. Unconditional universal love. The experience felt weightless, but the weight of its spiritual significance was of all existence, and it was unescapable. At times, I felt shards of self appear and detract from the unitive experience. Here, fear would creep in and I would be reminded to surrender, and I would by tuning into the felt-sense of what seemed to be an eternal present. Merging with pure being felt threatening at first, but as I surrendered to the effects of the substance and transcended my ego, a huge wave of light, love, and wisdom washed over, and I peacefully disappeared into eternity. It’s in this state of blissful limbo where awareness of the interconnectedness and unity of all phenomena, the non-linear and eternal nature of time, the illusory nature of self, divine-design and divine pre-determinism characterized the experience. Life felt divinely intelligent. And it all held epistemological authority. No one could convince me otherwise. I could rationalize the biological mechanisms by which the experience was possible, but whatever was experienced was sacred. There’s no doubt about it. As I came down, 10 to 15 minutes after smoking the DMT, I began to laugh at the absurdity of our human predicament. What a trip we’re on! And most of us are so blinded to it, lost in a material existence that robs us from our spiritual essence. Although I tried to make sense of the experience as soon as I could, as I do, it was too complex and grand to comprehend with my ape-like neural networks and ego. And so I surrendered again, and cried in gratitude and awe, humbled by my inability to rationalize the transcendent. It wasn’t something to understand with my mind. It was something to understand with my heart. And for the first time in my life, that was enough. I didn’t need to rationalize and comprehend intellectually. I was already whole. Love pervaded every part of my being, and that answered or overrode my need for intellectual satisfaction. I felt complete, connected, understood. I understood everything with my heart and nothing with my mind. And that was exactly what I needed.

T'was an awesomely special evening of connection, audio-visual art, dance, altered states and vibes. Thanks to all who showed up and made it happen! Will be sharing photos and video on the Afterglow insta, and will happen again, maybe at a city near you. Insta us @afterglow.fyi