@ipaddlearound

send me something nice

Joined November 2014
  • Tweets7.2K
  • Following384
  • Followers11K
694Media
{on a first date} him: so what’s your dream job me: uhhhmm.....in my dreams i am usually tiny and some sort of snail janitor. and i have to go around and mop up all the snail slime 😅 him: no, i meant like if you could have any job in the world me: what did i just say 🤨
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gently guided a spider out of my apartment for the second time. neither of us know that the body moves forward but the soul loops until it learns 😂🤣
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if all you do is look at stuff then you will become an eyeball
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baby its coat outside
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paddle retweeted
WH@hastifliche12 Sep 2025
money long like a piece of string
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beautiful day. not a clown in the sky, thankfully.
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the entire house should turn with the key
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JANUARY JONES: do you like the muffins, honey? i put extra lemon gunk in them. DON DRAPER [ stirring drink ]: there has got to be a better word ......
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old guys just dont turn me on like my girlfriend does. its the strangest thing
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We should start a fire in the old barn tonight. Fuck it let's tear this shit apart.. we're young...
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me: aint nothin better than and glass of water with dinner! reply guy: (who has been tracking me on foot for 6 days) enjoy it brother
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lizard: damn, nice lamp, mind if i bask ? me: whole reason i got it lizard: sick. i could do this all day me: whole reason i got u
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i will never forgive Modest Mouse for hijacking what would be an otherwise adorable google image search
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another saturday morning sipping coffee at my kitchen table in the brand new suburb of redfindale. updated property values are being beamed into my skull so hard my cup is ever so gently shaking in my hands.
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ant cop: take em away, boys 60,000 ant cops: (carrying me into a hole)
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the blender accepts my hand
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sorry, i can feel the world breathing and burning as god creates it. but what was it u were saying? something about an article?
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i’ve had visions i was too stupid to understand
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my heart is not so much heavy, as it is awkward to carry
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im afraid i thought the term, “tap water” was instructive, like in the same vein as “touch grass”. . . god i wasted so much time
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