J.D. (@jdshort) header
J.D. (@jdshort) profile picture

DTSKH. (un)Officially sponsored by @naturallight. Black Lives Matter Forever. He/Him. 馃棧

Joined July 2008
Hello darkness my old friend I've come to fuck with you again
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Chick-fil-A homie at the game gave me this and said it wasn't even out yet. It's fucking delicious
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SAL SAL HE'S OUR PAL IF HE CAN'T DO IT...SHUT UP #NLROY
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Dragon foot, bamboo pole, little mouse, tiny boy. Prune candy!
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Huffing the piss and shit of a thousand soccer fans
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Should've randomly capitalized this and made it a Decemberists song title
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Fuck around and get a TRIPLE CHEESE PIZZA next time you mess with some shit. Get whimsied
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Respectwrap Supreme
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Of all the Harry Potter wizarding world stuff, I would just want the candy
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Oomf loves to back Trump up when he does some heinous shit, then turn right around and say "two wings of the same bird" when the Dems win the midterms. The whataboutism is head spinning
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馃幎Tellin' Trump to go to hell They're blue in Texas you can tell
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(smooth operator voice) james talarico
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2,693
Welcome to your lame duck term, Mr. Trump.
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Hinojosa by 16 points... Texas just turned blue. Holy shit
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Talarico by 20 points...?! 20! No recall needed. LET'S GET TO WORK
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I'll have three fingers of Glenlivet, with pepper, and some cheese.
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Jesus Christ
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If I were still in a band I would've bootlegged this and booked a show in the next two days just to wear it on stage before anyone else had one like the petty bitch you know you'd also be
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Y'all better fuckin' vote right
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馃弳
The guy who compared a Trump rally to Jonestown on live Fox News was invited by the Trump campaign. They called his work phone on Monday and asked him to come. His name is Tom Hoyle. He's 57 and runs a small custom printing shop in Charlotte called MadPark Designs with his business partner. He's hated Trump since 1989, back when he was a sophomore in college. And he really, really doesn't like getting sales calls on the shop line, from anybody. So when the rally people called, he said yes. He even signed up with his real name and contact info, because he wanted it on the record that they invited him. Then he had to get through the door. A private security guy asked him straight up if he was a Trump supporter. Tom told him he supports the Constitution, then started talking about his shirt, which was for an old death metal band called Death. He kept going about the history of Florida death metal until the guard gave up and let him in. His plan going in was honestly pretty juvenile. He and a buddy he grew up with figured he'd wait a few minutes into the speech and yell something filthy. Then a Fox News reporter, Lucas Tomlinson, found him standing off by himself and asked if he could interview him live. Tom thinks a white guy with a big beard and a ball cap was pretty much exactly what they were looking for. He told himself he wasn't going to cuss on national TV, so he made it up on the spot. He says the first line and then just waits. The reporter goes "Wait, the Jonestown Massacre?" and that's when he finishes it. He told The Handbasket he picked that up from Billy Crystal, who said on Letterman back in the '80s that you always let the other guy set up your punchline. Tomlinson set it up for him perfectly. A few minutes later some men who said they were Secret Service pulled him aside. He asked if this was about the concession stand, because it closed early and he was starving. They didn't love that and walked him out. On his way out he passed the guard from the front door and told him, hey man, you didn't vet me too well. Think about how many people had a shot at stopping this. The campaign's call list found him. The signup form had his name. A guard questioned him to his face. A Fox crew put him on live TV. Every one of them took one look at the beard and the hat and filled in the rest. That's how almost all of this screening works. Asking somebody what they actually believe takes time, and looking at them takes a second, so everybody just looks. The one check that actually caught him came after he'd already said it on national TV.
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