Teller of tales—mine and others'. Eater of foods—cooked and ordered. Yoga instructor. Phillies fan. Former Texan. She/her.

Philadelphia
Joined August 2009
Ladies and gentlemen, I give you: Barks and Recreation; or, a thread featuring the @parksandrecnbc series regulars and a bunch of dogs that could play them. And yes, #barksandrec is a product of my insomnia, thankyouverymuch. – at Philadelphia, PA
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Replying to @netflix
@netflix teamed with @UberEats for a @squidgame promo. Spin a wheel and if you win you get $46.50 in credit toward food purchases of $50 or more, if you use the credit by 7/2. I spun, won, and the credit was added to my account…and then swiftly removed. 1/3
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@Uber_Support initially told me the credit was still on my account but when I went to place an order it wasn’t showing up. This was Thursday. It’s now Saturday. @UberEats is now telling me it can’t give me the credit because the promo is no longer happening. 2/3
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But it was happening on Thursday. When I won it. So basically, @Uber_Support is gaslighting me and @UberEats is defrauding customers, because I know for a fact I’m not the only person this happened to. @netflix, you okay with this behavior from a brand partner? 3/3
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Hey @UberEats I won a $46.50 credit on the Netflix/Squid Game promo and now it’s been removed from my account before I could use it. What gives?
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Jill Ivey | jillianivey.bsky.social retweeted
Donald Trump announces he'll impose a 25% tariff on ALL products coming into the United States from Mexico and Canada on his first day in office. This is going to be a disaster of epic proportions for the cost of goods. We break it down here: 🧵
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Jill Ivey | jillianivey.bsky.social retweeted
Poll Nidre tonight
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Jill Ivey | jillianivey.bsky.social retweeted
Omg they did a male version of the ‘secret vote’ ad and it’s even better than the female version.
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As a “mother” (or “big sister”) to pets my whole life, and a mother to an actual human baby for six and a half months, at what point do I stop calling the baby’s doctor “the vet”?
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Yes. Yes you can interest me in a Bryce Harper hype video narrated by Ryan Howard.
Can I interest you in a Bryce Harper hype video narrated by Ryan Howard
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Cosmic justice, letting Kristofferson outlive Toby Keith.
Kris Kristofferson died yesterday at 88. A surprising number of folks don't know that as a young man, he was an Army officer, a helicopter pilot, and a graduate of Ranger School. He understood patriotism and service, which is why it pissed him off when fake patriots co-opted the flag to push their rightwing bullshit. The actor Ethan Hawke once wrote a profile on him, which included witnessing this incident firsthand: STANDING BACKSTAGE AT THE BEACON Theatre in New York, leaning against a crumbling brick wall in the dark, I could barely see Kris Kristofferson standing to my left. Willie Nelson was in the shadows to my right. Ray Charles was standing beside Willie, idly shifting his weight back and forth. A bit farther along the wall were Elvis Costello, Wyclef Jean, Norah Jones, Shelby Lynne, Paul Simon and respective managers, friends and family. Everybody was nervous and tight. We were there for Willie Nelson’s 70th birthday concert in 2003. Up from the basement came one of country music’s brightest stars (who shall remain nameless). At that moment in time, the Star had a monster radio hit about bombing America’s enemies back into the Stone Age. “Happy birthday,” the Star said to Willie, breezing by us. As he passed Kristofferson in one long, confident stride, out of the corner of his mouth came “None of that lefty shit out there tonight, Kris.” “What the luck did you just say to me?” Kris growled, stepping forward. “Oh, no,” groaned Willie under his breath. “Don’t get Kris all riled up.” “You heard me,” the Star said, walking away in the darkness. “Don’t turn your back to me boy,” Kristofferson shouted, not giving a shit that basically the entire music industry seemed to be flanking him. The Star turned around: “I don’t want any problems, Kris – I just want you to tone it down.” “You ever worn your country’s uniform?” Kris asked rhetorically. “What?” “Don’t ‘What?’ me, boy! You heard the question. You just don’t like the answer.” He paused just long enough to get a full chest of air. “I asked, ‘Have you ever served your country?’ The answer is, no, you have not. Have you ever killed another man? Huh? Have you ever taken another man’s life and then cashed the check your country gave you for doing it? No, you have not. So shut the fuck up!” I could feel his body pulsing with anger next to me. “You don’t know what the hell you are talking about!” “Whatever,” the young Star muttered. Ray Charles stood motionless. Willie Nelson looked at me and shrugged mischievously like a kid in the back of the classroom. Kristofferson took a deep inhale and leaned against the wall, still vibrating with adrenaline. He looked over at Willie as if to say, “Don’t say a word.” Then his eyes found me. “You know what Waylon Jennings said about guys like him?” he whispered. I shook my head. “They’re doin’ to country music what pantyhose did to finger-fuckin’.” /end text/ Full essay here: rollingstone.com/music/music…
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Jill Ivey | jillianivey.bsky.social retweeted
plz
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Jill Ivey | jillianivey.bsky.social retweeted
When a woman makes this face, it means you’re fucking up badly.
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Jill Ivey | jillianivey.bsky.social retweeted
"I have been a leader on fertilization."
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Jill Ivey | jillianivey.bsky.social retweeted
If I send you this it means you sound insane. #Debate2024
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Jill Ivey | jillianivey.bsky.social retweeted
I have transgendered the aliens that were in the prison and which also were probably executing the babies forgive me I have the best rallies so large and so not bored
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Jill Ivey | jillianivey.bsky.social retweeted
the aliens after their transgender operations
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Jill Ivey | jillianivey.bsky.social retweeted
holy shit the DNC just played this and millions of Americans are watching
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Jill Ivey | jillianivey.bsky.social retweeted
A little over two weeks ago, a user on Twitter posted a joke claiming, with a knowing wink, that J.D. Vance, the junior senator from Ohio and Trump’s running mate, had been quite intimate with an alluring chesterfield. (long thread)
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