Meriam Rllb

I believed them - for years. I believed the doctors and accepted and internalized that I must have a 'conversion disorder'. For three years all the treatment I had was focused on my mind or was for pain - during this period my physical function collapsed from mostly normal to being bedridden and on full-time disability leave. No one ever mentioned MECFS. No one ever raised issues with polypharmacy of psych meds. They just watched the decline. Until I was dx'd with hEDS (I had never heard of it) by a visiting specialist who just happened to be on staff for a couple of weeks - my file was psychological issues + fibromyalgia (maybe). Tragically, sadly, I trusted and believed them (the doctors, the shrinks, the experts). For three years I accepted that somehow I was doing it to myself and if I only did the right type of therapy and thought the right type of thoughts I would get better. I did all the stuff: CBT, GET, hypnosis, EMDR, meditation, breath work, qi gong (and many many more). I jumped in 1000% and did it all - as hard as I could - because I wanted to get better. You all know how the story went (bedridden in a dark room 24/7, full-time disability, had to sell home and move in with family). When people claim to have had MECFS and to have gotten better just by deciding they are not going to be sick anymore - it is dangerous - its insidious - its cruel. I am sick of being nice. If you do this I am going to shame you.