Chewy Shittwood (@lowercase_t) header
Chewy Shittwood (@lowercase_t) profile picture

Chewy Shittwood

@lowercase_t

Competitive Eater, Daredevil, Gastronomic Omniscient, Dong Extraordinaire

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Joined March 2009
  • Tweets13.8K
  • Following200
  • Followers244
574Media
Photo by Chewy Shittwood (@lowercase_t)Photo by Chewy Shittwood (@lowercase_t)Photo by Chewy Shittwood (@lowercase_t)Photo by Chewy Shittwood (@lowercase_t)Photo by Chewy Shittwood (@lowercase_t)
GO BILLS SAY IT BACK
Image from Danielle LaFave (@daniellelafave_)
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Pardon My Take (@PardonMyTake) profile picture
Pardon My Take
@PardonMyTake22 Sep 2024
Retweet Moo Deng for good luck on NFL Sunday
Image from Pardon My Take (@PardonMyTake)
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People are checking tables for this game!!! #BillsMafia @TheBillsMafia @barstoolsports
Image from Thanks for Extending Brandon Beane (@KyleGordon42)
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Paul F. Tompkins (@PFTompkins) profile picture
Paul F. Tompkins
@PFTompkins6 Jun 2017
Does anyone know if TLC has relaxed its policy on scrubs?
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Chris Swart (@BwanaChris) profile picture
Chris Swart
@BwanaChris12 May 2016
My ex : "Explain yourself" Me : "Yourself" is used reflexively as the direct or indirect object of a verb or as the object of a preposition
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Texts From Last Night (@TFLN) profile picture
Texts From Last Night
@TFLN4 Apr 2017
(407): Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end.
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Tony (@tsm560) profile picture
Tony@tsm5603 Mar 2017
People who shout it's 5:00 somewhere to justify drinking before happy hour... it's 7:00 AM somewhere too, ya sloppy drunks.
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There is a 93% probability that my death will be a direct result of tripping over shoes in the middle of the night.
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elizabeth (@Elizasoul80) profile picture
elizabeth@Elizasoul8027 Feb 2017
George W Bush had shoes thrown at him by a journalist and still didn't attack the media.
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craig 🍖 (@toujoursyucky) profile picture
craig 🍖
@toujoursyucky14 Feb 2012
Roses are black. Violets are black. Life is black. My heart is black. Loneliness. Pain. Screams. A pony died in the forest. I shed no tears.
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Floyd (@dafloydsta) profile picture
Floyd@dafloydsta15 Nov 2016
[making humans] GOD: Put a thing on their face for breathing ANGEL: Ok GOD: And put boogers in it, lmao ANGEL: Is everything ok at home?
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Nick Offerman (@Nick_Offerman) profile picture
Nick Offerman
@Nick_Offerman7 Feb 2017
Ok so please do Bannon next? Fish in a barrel, Lorne. teapawt.org/philiprucker/status/82…
Philip Rucker (@PhilipRucker) profile picturePhilip Rucker
@PhilipRucker7 Feb 2017
Politico reports Melissa McCarthy’s impersonation of Sean Spicer was damaging to his standing with Trump politi.co/2jWcrLr
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Texts From Last Night (@TFLN) profile picture
Texts From Last Night
@TFLN3 Feb 2017
(404): I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each others company this weekend. (734): Your friend and I don't get along
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Texts From Last Night (@TFLN) profile picture
Texts From Last Night
@TFLN2 Feb 2017
(856): So before Superbowl weekend lets all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls AKA touchdown shots and kitchen crying
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The Patriots will play the Raiders in Mexico City next year. If the Pats win Mexico has to pay for the wall.
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The real reason Russell Westbrook wasn't voted an All-Star starter.
Image from Fake SportsCenter (@FakeSportsCentr)
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Texts From Last Night (@TFLN) profile picture
Texts From Last Night
@TFLN16 Jan 2017
(+44): I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
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Texts From Last Night (@TFLN) profile picture
Texts From Last Night
@TFLN15 Jan 2017
(716): Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
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A picture of a girl and her friends not ready for the picture with the caption "I guess you could say we are dysfunctional"
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Girl in a bikini holding a fishing rod with a tiny fish she'd never touch on a hook she didn't bait. Caption: "Love fishing❤️☀️🐠"
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