the taurus moon

journal entry • oct 24, 2026: I often sit and ponder on what my lack is to others. I wonder what deficiency I have to whom, and how. I want to know all the ways in which I don’t measure up. to be the best in totality. I am not sure if that’s the healthiest way to be, but it is a me I currently: be. I am learning, through the tribulations and endless trials, that perhaps there is a version of me, for someone, where my lack is nonexistent. where the only thing lacking was me. where my absence from their life was the only deficiency they ever knew of me. where I am whole, and truly seen and held. all of me. for my Lover.

I am living and loving with no bounds. timeless and pure, newfound and precious.

she says hello

was a magical little fairy at work today and surprised my coworkers with iced lattes just because it’s friday my friends!!!

not wearing makeup has changed my perception of self. I look at myself in the daylight and see my crevices, my lines, my freckles, my memories, all etched across the canvas I present to the universe. Hello, it’s me: in my rawest form.

I solve problems every single day all day at work I don’t need my man to be one too

currently in a documentary phase I’m very much enjoying, send your recommendations please!

sunday: doing laundry, lighting incense, and watching a foreign film with my dog.

being a beautiful, sexually frustrated woman forced into celibacy by the lack of desirable men within a reasonable geographical radius is a cruel existence

I live in a constant state of incredulity.

journal entry • oct 18, 2026: sickness brings an awareness to the mind that wellness doesn’t necessarily touch. as I lie here, feeling like a stranger in my own body, begging for relief, I feel alone. it’s a different kind of loneliness than the one I experience in everyday life. one that reminds me of how much of a stranger I am to myself. who am I? and who am I to others? I find myself contemplating my place in other people’s lives, how their perceptions of me may distort who I truly am, and how my own perceptions of them may not reflect who they truly are. my first instinct is to believe that everyone is lying to me. that everyone is offering me a summarized version of the truth, carefully omitting details to ease my mind or avoid stirring the pot. which is interesting, because I’m not entirely sure what that says about me. why is everyone a liar in my mind? do they perceive me the same way? why is distrust my instinct before anyone has even given me a reason to doubt them? perhaps I’ve become so preoccupied with questioning the honesty of others that I’ve neglected to question my own understanding of myself. maybe the stranger I’ve been searching for in everyone else has been me all along.

I am sick, and my body aches all over, seemingly mirroring the way my mind has felt all week. my body is exhaling. releasing. recovering.