Great writing.

For only $30 a month you can adopt a Jetstar passenger. Help us stop the brutal & inhumane way we treat them by donating today. You’ll receive a framed picture of your very own Jetstar passenger and regular updates as to where their luggage might be. Thank you — Melbourne Airport

They’re out there. And her magic chant is straight out of “Wicked”. Bless.

PRIEST: What were you thinking?? ME: Releasing birds at a wedding is romantic. PRIEST: Emus?

Interesting.

Sadly accurate. If you still support trump after all he’s done (or failed to do) I’m sorry but you will die stupid.

I shouted at my wife while she was in labour, "Push harder". She screamed, "Fuck you!" Bit harsh. It wasn't my fault the car broke down on the way to the hospital.

English is tricky. Particularly when the beginning of your speech begins with beginning.

What a disgrace.

I think the clothes are dry.

How drunk? This is “using a pizza slice as a pillow” drunk.

They called it WHAT Friday?? Seriously?? - Jesus.

A golden oldie.

Adore this.

Pounding out the hit last night at the East Brunswick Hotel.

Our white Ibis population (disrespectfully known as bin chickens) has really blossomed at Albert Park Lake and their manners and habits are generally much better than their northern neighbours. But this one found his way into our back lane and seemed kind of lost.

Funny.

I found these instructions in my hotel room, on the inside of the bathroom door. So odd. Perhaps it’s a refresher course?

Wisdom.

Time to cut back on the kibble.