Vivek Ramaswamy is the little kid who follows the bully around the playground laughing at his victims.

Schools were not forcing kids to have transgender surgery. Babies were not being aborted after they were born. Migrants were not crossing the border to vote for Kamala Harris. Donald Trump is a pathological liar and, if you believed this shit, you are a pathological dumbass.

"Listen, Mr. Smarty Reporter Pants, I'm rubber and you're glue and whatever you say sticks to me because I'm sticky rubber and also a pedophile."

Just for Men hair dye has introduced a new color: Pedophile Brown.

If you want to look tall, hang out with short people. If you want to look young, hang out with old people. If you want to look smart, hang out with Trump supporters.

During a school shooting, children hide under their desks. After a school shooting, Republicans hide under theirs.

Republicans: "If Democrats win, they will prosecute President Trump for his many, many crimes."

SHOWN: The first thing you do when you find out JD Vance will be speaking at your venue.

School nurse: "If you fill out this twenty-page form and have it signed by a pediatrician and notarized with three witnesses, I can give your child a Tylenol when they have a headache." Donald Trump: "Schools can secretly turn your child from Tim to Tammy."

Donald Trump has had strokes that lasted longer than Katie Zacharia.

DID YOU KNOW? Anthony Scaramucci worked in the Trump White House for over two Zacharias.

Donald Trump is what would happen if someone tried to make stupid from concentrate but forgot to add water.

Columbus Day is the most Republican holiday because it's about giving a white man credit for discovering a country he never actually set foot in and where people were already living.

Putin: "I'm giving Iran military intelligence so they can target U.S. ships. Is that okay with you, bitch?"

The Republican Party is literally doubling down on rapists.

BELOW: If Richie Rich grew up to be an elderly pedophile.

Lies used to fly out of Donald Trump's mouth like shrapnel from a shit grenade. Now they dribble out like diarrhea from a sick dog's ass.

If you are more upset about gender-neutral restrooms than you are about seven men raping an incapacitated woman, the Republican Party may be right for you.

BREAKING: Nobel Committee gives peace prize to everyone who is not Donald Trump.

SHOWN: Very stable genius who has been trying unsuccessfully for two years to paint a pool.