banned from hinge for having a fat ass

New York, NY
Joined August 2009
so unbothered rn
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cainer retweeted
An ADE 1 minute uber pickup is actually 47 minutes
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saoirse ❤️
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U know the music is good when @gaylordFCUKERS is dancing to minimal tech
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Wake up bitches it’s dr banana day
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went here and everybody knew you @spykidsthumb
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Salute released an infinite passion pass and honestly it’s the best concept I’ve ever heard of for fans
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Going to play free your mind to an uncontacted tribe to finally put an end to the debate
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I almost cried last night in the club when tiga ripped you’re gonna want me
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Wake up it’s @saluteAUT infinite passion day!!!!!!
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Seth troxler and tiga should never be allowed to go b2b ever again because they did something SO PERFECT
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I forgot how many men disrespect women on this side of the globe
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Bret bar makes refuge look like a daycare
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Happy one year friendaversary to @theycallmepipe_ I can’t believe I’m in amsterdam without u
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Wait you guys were following your Airbnb checkout instructions
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Suitcase broke spirit crushed but we finally made it to amsterdam
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The people watching I’ve had today on my travels is fucking phenomenal no notes
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This man is a national treasure
Charles Barkley says he kept Vaseline in his belly button during NBA games so his lips wouldn’t get crusty and reloaded it at halftime Host: “Another hygiene question. You said one time that you kept Vaseline inside your belly button.” Barkley: “Yes. Karl Malone told the story. I filled it up before the game because there’s nothing worse than a person with big lips, and during the game, after you lick your lips a few times, they get all crusty and white.” “So I used to stick Vaseline in my belly button.” Host: “It’s a good place to hide it.” Barkley: “Yeah. And Karl Malone’s the only person told the world. We had him on the show one night. ‘You still keep Vaseline in your belly button?’” “I say, ‘Ernie, go to the next question.’ And he says, ‘Karl, what are you talking about?’ He says, ‘This dude used to keep Vaseline in his belly button.’” “But I did used to keep Vaseline in my belly button because, man, let me tell you something, there’s nothing worse than a dude with big lips and they all white and crusty.” Host: “Wouldn’t it slide out once you start to sweat? The Vaseline just drips out?” Barkley: “No, it stays in there a little bit because you had to reload at halftime.”
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Flow
Toy Story, Frozen and Shrek aren’t available, what’s the greatest animated movie of all time?
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Read this like a guide
Millennials, it's time to choose your midife crisis 1. Date a 24 year old 2. Quit drinking and tell everyone you don’t drink anymore 3. Drink heavily 3-4 times a week 4. Train for a marathon and or Hyrox 5. Have a panic baby (with wife you hate) 6. "We're opening the relationship" (she bangs, guy tries too and fails? 7. Get divorced to feel something 8. Get diagnosed with adult ADHD/autism 9. Niche side quests like rock climbing, gardening, handstands 10. Get very into video games
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