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odat

@odat

''It's an empty journey to triumph if you don't plant the seeds of catastrophe along the way.''

Joined July 2008
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The rhythm hunts. The rhythm stalks you relentlessly through the sweltering Miami night. You hide, but you know it's only a matter of time.
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Me, getting ready to leave yesterday: Eh, I'll just wear this loose old t-shirt and shorts and have my hair a muss. It's a hike, who would see? [smash cut to: Every. single. person. I pass on the trails is PREPOSTEROUSLY attractive. And me, a sweaty goblin.]
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I mean every person. The stream of athleisure models. The lesbian couple taking photographs. The gaggle of moms with their kids. Every dog owner! Just a non-stop babe parade! And me looking like I'm heading for an audition, description: "Unkempt, sweaty man. Unfashionable."
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fuck.
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Ok there was more to this tweet but really just: fuck.
It was my birthday yesterday, and this exchange was truly all the gift I needed.
Screenshot of a Gchat conversation. Person 1: Why do I always think you’re so much younger than me? I remember thinking it was a little scandalous when we dated but 2.5 years is pfft / Person 2 (that's me!): it's especially weird because I have such an old vibe! / Person 1 again: Indeed. You got them haunted grandpa bones.

ALT Screenshot of a Gchat conversation. Person 1: Why do I always think you’re so much younger than me? I remember thinking it was a little scandalous when we dated but 2.5 years is pfft / Person 2 (that's me!): it's especially weird because I have such an old vibe! / Person 1 again: Indeed. You got them haunted grandpa bones.

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"You got them haunted grandpa bones."
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If I ever get famous enough to have a signature perfume, it's definitely going to be called Eau No.
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Or maybe Eau Fortuna? Depends on my whole celebrity vibe, I guess.
Beowulf: the boast-est with the most-est.
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Upon reviewing my timeline, two observations: 1) it's been a WHILE since I posted on here (all the good tweet thoughts evaporate before I manage to write them down), and 2) wow, a LOT of Beowulf tweets.
Sometimes I wish I was heir to a vast baked bean fortune, like that dog.
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(I refuse to use the subjunctive, because that dog is actually going to inherit that bean money.)
I have heard not one, but TWO separate instances of Saves the Day in the wild today! It's 2000 again out here.
Wow. 13 years on this hell site. Dang. I mean, when I joined Twitter, George "The W stands for war crimes" Bush was still president. That's... huh.
Image from odat (@odat)
♫ Walgreens giiiirl / why are you flirting with meee / I get that I'm a snack / but you JUST mentioned your boyfrieeeend / wait am I misreading this interaction / being inside for a year has made me somehow even worse at thiiiiis ♫
I was anti-e-reader for so long, but the closing of the library for a YEAR wore me down. I finally bought one last month and I have read more novels in 5 weeks than I did in all of 2020.
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The house finch is back, and he looks great.
odat (@odat) profile pictureodat@odat20 Jul 2017
In other "I'm Seriously Just A Grandpa Now" news: A house finch comes to my birdfeeder now! In New England! His head and face are all red!
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Ok, I'm like 2 years late on this, but Booksmart is so fucking good. So, so amazing. It's... just so good!
Last night my brain came up with a gritty Beowulf prequel series about Hrothgar's family, called HALF-DANE.
This pandemic has been a boon time for subject-verb agreement for the word "data" in media, and a shitty time for pretty much everything else.
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