@offbeatorbit

Writer. Widow. Worrywart. Hates mint chocolate. Got the girlies pressed. #fuckcancer šŸ’Œ BAD BRAIN newsletter ā†“

 NYC via LA
ashleyreese.substack.com
Joined February 2009
  • Tweets361K
  • Following3.7K
  • Followers102K
12.6KMedia
Bad news for all my haters.
322
372
94
11,103
4,596,266
Ashley Reese retweeted
Kyle Dvorchak@kyletweetshereOct 22
Disheartening to know I will never say anything a 10th as funny as this in my entire life.
Footballism
@FootbaIIismOct 18
Announcers always find a way to say the craziest stuff when a 19 year old college kid is having the greatest day of their career
16
357
3
11,365
626,128
Ashley Reese retweeted
oomf@oomphiestOct 21
wybey@fivestarjamaicaOct 20
And then weā€™re going to daddy house to show him how good we did
53
9,616
89
133,129
865,246
Ashley Reese retweeted
Latiesha@itsmelatieshaOct 21
Britney was such a good performer no one cared that her mic was never really on
blue@bluebrit28Oct 20
The way Britney Spears took off that shirt and then murdered slave 4 u choreoā€¦ yeah no pop star would be on her level!
95
3,012
110
73,675
1,154,329
Ashley Reese retweeted
luc@softaschaikOct 22
...this is crazy
jo xacto@joxactoOct 22
every time iā€™m ridden with self doubt i have to remind myself that at 27 Kelela was a solar panel telemarketer
10
781
49
8,565
103,355
Ashley Reese retweeted
Pop Crave
@PopCrave16h
28 years ago today, Britney Spears released '...Baby One More Time.'
81
1,876
234
8,381
206,294
???????????????????????
This quoted post is unavailable.
Try viewing anyway Ā· View on X
17
6
556
20,504
seeing this notification FRIED ME WHAT EFOAIHEAIOF
1
118
3,278
"your meghan" ????????
Sweetdream@awaken93934h
Replying to @offbeatorbit
Your Meghan is lying again
1
48
2,725
A few of my late husband's friends have to remind me that I can just call them my friend and not just rob's friends, esp since I've known them for like 12 years now! It's so funny because I absolutely do consider them my friends too (and have for a while!), but it's a habit!
jason waterfall@yallarefools3h
Replying to @offbeatorbit
i was once called out for referring to someone as my friend's girlfriend and not simply my friend. years later i ended up being the best man and maid of honor at their wedding
1
1
215
5,282
Not to brag but Iā€™m not scared of ANY American Girl dolls
pre-fall Stace.@SirStrange_Oct 21
Yall being scared of molly at your big ages lmao
11
1,271
21
11,351
112,942
Replying to @sum1saiditinnit
xitter.cf/TerwillikerInst/statusā€¦
Valentine Steele@TerwillikerInstJun 8
Replying to @_uncle_gworl
People forget the shit Daniel Craig got (and kinda still does) just for being blonde. BLONDE! His first press conference is straight-up struggle session shit. Endless parade of journalists asking him "why are you so ugly", "did you prefer fucking Sienna Miller or Kate Moss" lol
1
4
115
9,088
Ashley Reese retweeted
ellis
@sum1saiditinnit10h
there are many black and brown actors who are worthy to play bond but i donā€™t think you guys understand how bad it would get in the uk if that happened šŸ˜­ we got tenet at home sha
Dan Marcus
@Danimalish21h
Itā€™s a little sad Dev Patel seemingly wasnā€™t even in consideration for Bond. MONKEY MAN felt like his audition for Bond the same way LAYER CAKE was for Daniel Craig.
17
216
11
3,713
61,809
BBC News (UK)
@BBCNewsOct 21
Just Eat apologises for AI food mistakes after social media ridicule bbc.in/4jAIj9J

Just Eat apologises for AI food mistakes after social media ridicule

A spokesperson said it was removing inaccurate AI images and pausing the rollout of the tool.

bbc.com
137
5,458
339
70,553
1,196,145
Ashley Reese retweeted
Ben
@bentolate13h
I love gay Halloween because what you mean youā€™re ā€œthe fish who had no idea they was gonna play in her faceā€šŸ˜­
41
4,331
66
64,417
463,540
Here for the clothes/hair.
Brian Roemmele
@BrianRoemmele19h
1992 a meteor hit her car. Back in New Jersey and New York almost everybody I knew had ā€œthe accentā€.
6
7
253
8,940
The ads/videos that have ended up on this site in the Elon era are truly unbelievable
wonderbody
@trywonderbody8h
Last year, my marriage went quiet in a way I couldnā€™t explain. I spent months believing it was my fault. It took my sister, one evening, and a video she sent me to see it differently. Hereā€™s our story:

1
6
379
Ashley Reese retweeted
ethical girlboss@lavionlineOct 22
should we call Bella Hadid?
eden ?!@birthdaybashedOct 22
what ARE some modern idioms? the first one that comes to mind for me is "fork found in kitchen"
11
1,689
27
34,681
341,316
i fucking love videos like this so much
34
2,879
56
64,901
677,275
Ashley Reese retweeted
Stephanie Wambugu@snjeriwambugu14h
Twenty years from now when Iā€™m encouraging Vivek Vance to write patricidal diaspora autofiction in the workshop I lead at an MFA that costs $400,000 >>>
Aaron Rupar
@atruparOct 22
JD Vance: "My 6 year old was extremely excited that Ja'marr Chase told him he had nice gloves. So, big day for little 6-year-old Vivek."
97
2
1,865
35,794
Ashley Reese retweeted
josephine@notnonicegalOct 22
Thereā€™s a certain point in the mornings when it becomes Step on Mama Time
50
6,738
189
105,127
766,897
Load more