pesi

i queue up with my ex every couple months we don't talk about it. it just happens. 2am. both online. she sends the invite. or i do. neither of us acknowledges who sent it first. the voice chat is 90% silence. no "how's life." no "seeing anyone?" just callouts and utility. "smoke mid." "watch flank." "nice shot." that's the whole conversation. here's the thing though. our chemistry is still insane. she knows when i'm peeking before i even swing. i know her timings better than the last 6 duos i've played with. we don't communicate because we don't need to. 2500 hours of muscle memory doesn't give a fuck about relationship status. we'll go 7-2 together. maybe 8-1 on a good night. then it's "gg" and we're offline for another 2 months. no follow up. no "we should queue again." nothing. because we both know what this is. it's not friendship. it's not rekindling. it's not even nostalgia. it's that neither of us has found better synergy. and that's the uncomfortable truth about CS duo queue. you can break up with someone and still be stuck with them competitively. you can hate someone's guts and still perfectly retake a site together. you can move on emotionally and still be hardstuck trying to replace what you had in game. some people have exes they still have sex with. i have an ex i still duo with. honestly not sure which is worse. study the Ratte way.