MY Secret Service agent Dave had to break open my bathroom door after I got my foot stuck in the toilet again. Now HE’S upset with ME!!!!! HE’S THE ONE WHO BROKE THE DOOR!!!!! I hate Dave!!!!

Totally not fair that I have to go to PRISON!! – just because of the crimes I committed! Laws are so stupid! But lots of world leaders have gone to prison! Like Adolf Hitler! In many ways I am exactly like Hitler.

I have NO idea who E. Jean Carrol is!!! I've NEVER met her. Besides, when Jean and I went shopping that day in department store, it was consensual sex!! (at least for me it was.)

Thanks @elonmusk! Truth Social was horrable! People on Truth Social treated ME badly! They called ME names! Like "Orange baby"!! And "Man Toddler"! And "Election Karen"! Twitter 2.0 is much better, since your abuse filters will ban ANYBODY who tweets those words! #ElectionKaren

So Angry right now!!!! Dave - MY secret service agent - is REFUSING to help ME! Dave says I have to wait for Karl - my personal care aid - to clean me up. But Karl is in the bathroom again - crying!!! I hate Dave...

Just got done with my speach! I'm going to be President of the United States! Did you see me?! I talked about carnage! And Poland! And WWIII! Everyone clapped!! Then Eric gave ME more pills! Adderall!!!!!! #TrumpAnnouncement #Trump2024

Georgia Senate candidate Herschel Walker just announced his plan to build 300,000 NEW football factories when he's elected!! That means we'll be able to make over a BILLION footballs EVERY day! MAGA!!!

It's Senator Mitch McConnell's falt that MY candidates lost! Mitch FAILED to stop me from endorsing my candidates! He asked me to stop. He begged me to stop! But he NEVER forced me to stop! Sad!

My daughter Tiffany Trump is getting married!!! I don't mind giving her away since she's not as Hot as Ivanka.

STOP CALLING ME me TRUMPTY DUMPTY! The NEW YORK POST started it! Now EVERYONE is saying it!! Even Melannia said it! SHE denies it! But I HEARD her say it after I yelled at her!!! Now she's SINGING it in the other room! STOP IT!!!! #TrumptyDumpty

The $2 BILLION lottery winning numbers were anounced. So I rushed to my 7-Eleven & bought 500 tickets with those numbers. I went to the counter to collect MY 2 billion in cash for each ticket. The employee said someone else already won! BUT I WAS FIRST IN LINE! Lottery is Rigged!

I AM SO ANGRY! I just went to vote! I WASN'T ON THE BALLOT!!!! NO Where on the ballot!!! What the hell?!! Loser Ron DeSantis was on the ballot!!!! BUT NOT ME!!!! Why wasn't MY NAME on the ballot????!!!!!!

I'm finally back to Twitter!! Since I've been gone, you've heard FAKENEWS report that I've been saying stupid things! Horrible things! Fowl things! Vile, Idiotic things! NOW you can hear those things DIRECTLY from ME!! You can help support this account at buymeacoffee.com/realdonaldt…

HA! I found a SECRET way to Tweat even though Twitter tried to ban ME! BTW – All my followers who violently stormed MY Capitol need to report it to MY FBI ASAP!! Did someone say PARDONS?! Just call 1-800-225-5324. AND send your Capitol selfies & videos to fbi.gov/USCapitol

NOOOOOOOOOO!!!! THIS MIGHT BE MY LAST TWEET! TWITTER IS SUSPENDING MY ACCOUNT PERMANENTLY! WHICH IS LONGER THAN A WEEK!!! Twitter says I'm banned because I'm a MENTALLY UNSTABLE LOSER! Now EVERYONE in the world will remember ME that way! NOT FARE! #TrumpBanned

Just had a TOP SECRET meating with the Proud Boys leader at my White House. We talked about how much we Love Nazis & Adolf Hitler!! Fun times!! Everyone is saying "Trump is just like Hitler!!" I want ALL my supporters to get that printed on their signs and T-shirts!!!

I lost the Supreme Court Case! SCOTUS judges are VERY mean to ME!! People say "YOU LOST AGAIN!" BUT I'M NOT DONE! I've Only lost 50 court cases out of 50! That's 50% - which is less then HALF!!! There are MANY more cases that I'll lose! More cases then ANYONE thought possible!!

Melting Giuliani is doing a TERRABLE job with law suits! Sad! So today I'm meeting with TWO Michigan GOP lawmakers in my White House Bunker! I'll get Republicans to throw out ALL the Michigan votes by offering them a HUGE bribe (money, drugs, and My Russian prostitutes). WIN!!!!

Just overherd MY Secret Service agents talking in the hallway! They're PLOTTING AGAINST ME! Dave said he's "concerned" that i'm mentelly Unstable, paranoid, and suffering from Polyembolokoilamania! NOT TRUE!! I'm IMMUNE!! Dave needs to SHUT UP and bring me another box of crayons!

I NOW HAVE 232 Electoral VOTES! TRUMP 232! Biden 306! Don Jr, Eric and I DID THE MATH and checked it twice!!! 232 is BIGGER than 306!! That means I WIN!