(Me after casually queuing up Alphabet Aerobics just so I could rap it in the car with my nephews, absolutely crushing, and then getting zero acknowledgment)
Me: I know you don’t care but not many people can do what I just did
Nephews: good job masi 👍🏽
1
43
Guy at party: are you an actress?
Me: that’s the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me, thank you
2
38
(me somehow on the topic of polygamy with my 13 year old nephew)
ashton: wait so he had multiple wives?
me: yes :/
ashton: he gives aura
1
25
turns out nirvana is a day where i don’t have to be in a vehicle, and get to hang out with my friends in the sun
2
27
found some poetry from 2004 and while everything is embarrassing, the worst is spelling 'your' wrong... couldn't be me.... who is this person...
1
29
would it be inappropriate for me to create a registry of fb marketplace vintage goods i would like for my birthday
1
25
when your guest compliments the soap in your guest bathroom but you have no chill so you say “omg thank you I spent 30 minutes sniffing soaps while picking it out!”
2
25
trying to break the cycle of abuse (can't sleep, take naps because i'm overtired, can't sleep because i napped)
1
30
work is really getting in the way of my immediate priorities (spending all day every day trying out rugs in the guest room til i find the right style)
1
21
patterned rugs, eccentric chandeliers, stained glass... i fear my tastes have began trending toward what every 'the old spaghetti factory' looks like inside
1
29
unfortunately a thought like 'i should get new throw pillows' put me in a 3 day obsessive hunt for the perfect ones which ended in me deciding i needed to just completely redo both bedrooms. why am i like this
1
3
51
been pondering some stuff, like how in spite of our inescapably grim political climate & the resulting heavy malaise and constant dread that hangs over every second of every day - having 2 glasses of wine at the airport still rules & life might be worth living after all
3
39
pros about being sick: eating all the comfort food i want, prime tv watching time, finally have the sexy raspy voice of my dreams
cons: literally everything else and also jump-scaring myself every time i glimpse the mirror because who is this frizzy potato
2
36
