Hank Showers

Might fuck around and get married

Would love a big strong (competent) daddy (employer) to show me how it’s done (pay me fairly and give me a lot of pto).

Can’t tolerate being this hot every single day. Gets fucking exhausting.

I had a redbull last night. Stayed up with nightmares. And now I’m back on twitter. It’s 2019 again.

Y'all please I could fix HER. Taylor swift baby I can help you.

Had a bad day and about to see if spending $50 for a t shirt makes it better

Started telling people I game when actually I just found the CD for Age of Empires II and have been dedicating my Thursday nights to conquering the world via a circa 2000 PC game.

Can you just tell people you do ****??

Just saw Madonna came out. Guess this means global warming is finally over.

Been having a suspicious amount of work life balance lately 🤔

I'm about to start off a text with "listen, I don't mean to be harsh" and I will be being harsh.

If they put miniature needles in the trader Joe's dark chocolate peanut butter cups. I would still eat every. single. one.

Dating a therapist is all fun and games until she looks at you while you're watching tik toks and says "what's your conscious social media intake going to be like for today"

Hello Twitter. Here to remind everyone I am only getting hotter and bustier with age

Would anybody like to give me $86,000 to buy the Rivian electric truck with a built in camping stove and 500 miles of battery life 🙂🙂

Am I exhausted and burnt out or are my glasses just the wrong prescription?

Anyways I've been doing more drugs and it's been SAVING ME MONEY??

I forget how weird old people get when you talk about drugs

They're so sad when their cake isn't good on the great British bake off. Who allowed this pain?

I am sick and vegan and gluten free and all I want is like 5 chick fil a spicy sandwiches and a milk shake BUT I CANT HAVE THAT.

The nurse at the doctor this morning talked to me in a baby voice but I'm not even mad cause I really am sicky wicky.