@schetzer

Academic, journalist, editor + strategic communications. Not even my mum’s favourite Alana.

 Melbourne, Victoria
facebook.com/AlanaSchetzer
Joined November 2009
  • Tweets23.7K
  • Following0
  • Followers2.5K
1.8KMedia
Breaking news: A major cheese company will be sponsoring the next Star Wars film. It will be about...Boba Fetta I’ll see myself out
3
2
2
29
We’re working from home today, and when I say “we,” I mean “me”.
6
485
I’ve found that not listening to anything my brother-in-law says has been the secret to keeping my brain healthy
The Independent
@Independent23 Mar 2023
MIT professor reveals key to maintaining healthy brain function independent.co.uk/life-style…

MIT professor reveals key to maintaining healthy brain function

‘I think that if you just keep a routine, you know, you do it,’ professor says

independent.co.uk
1
1
559
I’m not having kids, but I’ve totally figured out the best gender reveal party. The ‘reveal’ is a pair of baby pants - if it’s got pockets, it’s boy and if it hasn’t got pockets, it’s a girl.
2
2
293
The 14-year-old was last seen on Katrina Street in Blackburn North on 20 March. Grace is 167cm tall with blue eyes and blonde hair and was last seen wearing tracksuit pants, a light coloured hoodie and a back pack. Forest Hill Police Station ☎ (03) 8847 3600. #230101443
52
15
8,660
Wishing all those who celebrate a Happy Ramadan! ☪️
1
129
Hello, I’m visiting Darwin and surrounding areas in June! Any recommendations on what to see/do?
4
1
585
Trying to get some rest before sleep but Theo doesn’t agree.
167
Have you seen Paige? The 12-year-old was last seen at Marshall Train Station on 18 March 2022. It is believed that Paige is travelling on public transport, and may be heading to New South Wales. 📞 Waurn Ponds Police Station on (03) 5247 3500.
64
20
15,674
So…I thought the GOP was all about small government? usatoday.com/story/news/poli…

Florida bill would ban girls from talking about their periods in school, GOP lawmaker says

The Florida Republicans' bill would ban discussion of reproductive health in school, which includes banning girls from talking about their periods.

usatoday.com
120
I hope you’re okay and you have a good day.
1
1
122
So. I’ve been quoted $9,900 for Invisalign (full treatment, including check ups). Is this a good deal?
2
791
72-year-old Francis was last seen on Murray Road in Preston around 4:30pm on 17 March. She is known to frequent the Flemington and Carlton areas. Police have concerns for Francis’s welfare. Anyone with information is urged to contact Preston Police Station on 9479 6111.
2
71
32
16,504
Adulthood is realising that there’s *always* something you need to bloody buy…
132
You know when you want to get out of house cos you’re getting cabin fever but you’re also feeling too lazy to leave the house?
2
240
Does anyone know where I can get shark-shaped lollies in Melbourne? (in a shop, not online ideally) Thanks!
112
You don’t have to use nazi salutes or slogans to be a nazi - if you also use their ideology or methods, then you’re a nazi too.
130
Can’t go anywhere today because my kids are using my body as a couch.
1
164
Not to be a smartarse, but where else are you meant to cook?
2
167
“…when she diddled Medicare out of $181,121”. I don’t think I’ve ever seen the word “diddled” in a news report before.
1
1
171
There’s an amazing new cafe that’s just opened. It’s in an industrial bin; it was started by a former Michelin star chef but he only makes toasties with foraged mushrooms. They’re $26 and taste like crap but they photograph well. Melbourne’s food scene, in one bitchy sentence.
1
146
Load more