I help people reconnect with who they really are, through the practice of mind:body attunement 🌕 work with me 👇
Victoria, British Columbia
Joined June 2021
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extremely bullish on shadow work in the age of AI, because if you have access to infinite intelligence that can construct a reasonable-sounding argument for any perspective, the limiting factor is in the discernment of the human being - and that discernment gets better or worse depending on their ability to pay attention to their own blindspots & complexes
scott 🌞 retweeted
"Just do the thing" + "I see and love the parts of me that don't want to and I don't need them to go away" + "I let go of the fantasy that those parts will go fully quiet one day and only then will I be equipped to do the thing"
“just do the thing” is lazy advice
99% of people who are stuck or hesitating aren’t doing it due to a failure of will
they’re doing it because their whole internal belief system is making it seem necessary to hesitate
“why don’t you just take action” ignores the complexity (usually in a way that allows the dispenser of the advice to act superior)
better to acknowledge the complexity while still pointing out the end destination of doing the thing… especially since shame about paralysis tends to make people MORE paralyzed, not less
scott 🌞 retweeted
Intentionally moving towards what your nervous system is resisting solves a lot ultimately. Some people think that nervous system freaking out = intuitive info about what to avoid but it’s usually the opposite actually. Intuition is about feeling for an energy that’s beyond what the nervous system is bringing up altogether - it’s not even emotional info usually
being “action-oriented” CAN be a lot of anxious thrashing
to not shrink from anxiety means to not let it drive your actions, which means sometimes doing nothing when everything within you is screaming for movement. and then the opposite, to move when the fear says “be still”
notice the difference between “I want to do great work” and “I need to be special”
the former can create amazing results from a place of humility & service. the latter is an ego-drive that tries to separate you from the rest of humanity
“You must believe you are special - then go so hard, for so long, with such violent refusal to accept any other ending, that reality itself starts running out of ways to tell you no. Wage a daily war against the ordinary outcome until the belief you invented from nothing, alone in a room, has been hammered into the world so many times that it stops being a claim and becomes reality.”
scott 🌞 retweeted
David Tacey explains the term 'neurosis'.
From his book, 𝘏𝘰𝘸 𝘵𝘰 𝘙𝘦𝘢𝘥 𝘑𝘶𝘯𝘨.
ALT For Jung, the personality is constantly getting stuck in narrow limits, unable to move forward, and is menaced by an other, an antagonist who stands in its path. This other is what psychotherapy calls a neurosis, that is, an emotional disorder in which feelings of anxiety, obsessional thoughts, compulsive acts and physical complaints dominate the personality. The aim of therapy is not exactly to get rid of the neurosis, but to transform and deepen it by understanding why it arose in the first place. Typically, a neurosis emerges when a person's consciousness is not broad enough to encompass the contents of the psyche that demand to be lived and seek expression. The psyche does not tolerate artificial constriction, caused for instance by a morbidly narrow moral view, by an inadequate self-image or by attitudes that stifle and abuse the energies of the personality. The unlived life manifests in neurotic form, and within the neurosis lie the answers that the patient seeks. —David Tacey
“just do the thing” is lazy advice
99% of people who are stuck or hesitating aren’t doing it due to a failure of will
they’re doing it because their whole internal belief system is making it seem necessary to hesitate
“why don’t you just take action” ignores the complexity (usually in a way that allows the dispenser of the advice to act superior)
better to acknowledge the complexity while still pointing out the end destination of doing the thing… especially since shame about paralysis tends to make people MORE paralyzed, not less
if you have a moment of insight that also feels judgemental ("ah, THIS is what my problem is") but it also:
a) doesn't really change your behaviour
b) leads to more rumination
... then that's probably not a real insight. what's happening instead:
a) your analytical brain is working hard, but it's been taught to focus mainly on judgement (vs perceiving)
b) your ego knows you have a desire to change, but it doesn't actually want you to change (because change is scary)
the perfect solution here is something that feels true (because it's harsh/judgemental), promises the possibility of change but doesn't actually deliver it, and can be ruminated on for a long time without shifting anything
in a way, it's a win-win-win:
a) the parts of you that want to change get that satisfying moment of "aha!" that promises future transformation
b) but the ego also knows it's illusory, so it's safe from transformation
c) your analytical brain gets something to chew on for hours/days/weeks
... but it's more of an uneasy peace than anything else. temporary stability, with tension increasing behind the scenes, as things continue to stay the same
this is an UNCONSCIOUS resolution to competing impulses within the psyche. the best thing we can do is seek to create a CONSCIOUS resolution
that means:
a) discerning what path is likely to lead to genuine transformation, even if uncomfortable
b) finding a way to help the ego feel safe and mollified in that discomfort
c) giving the analytical brain a job that feels satisfying and actually moves the needle
but doing all of the above requires perception, not judgement. compassion rather than "harsh truths". curiosity over self-flagellation
that's a tough shift for some people. sorry, the most effective path is to be compassionate towards yourself! notice if that feels like bad news
and then stop wasting your time beating yourself up over what your "problem" is and instead start noticing where things are already shifting on your own... and see if you can participate in that process
if you have a moment of insight that also feels judgemental ("ah, THIS is what my problem is") but it also:
a) doesn't really change your behaviour
b) leads to more rumination
... then that's probably not a real insight. what's happening instead:
a) your analytical brain is working hard, but it's been taught to focus mainly on judgement (vs perceiving)
b) your ego knows you have a desire to change, but it doesn't actually want you to change (because change is scary)
the perfect solution here is something that feels true (because it's harsh/judgemental), promises the possibility of change but doesn't actually deliver it, and can be ruminated on for a long time without shifting anything
in a way, it's a win-win-win:
a) the parts of you that want to change get that satisfying moment of "aha!" that promises future transformation
b) but the ego also knows it's illusory, so it's safe from transformation
c) your analytical brain gets something to chew on for hours/days/weeks
... but it's more of an uneasy peace than anything else. temporary stability, with tension increasing behind the scenes, as things continue to stay the same
this is an UNCONSCIOUS resolution to competing impulses within the psyche. the best thing we can do is seek to create a CONSCIOUS resolution
that means:
a) discerning what path is likely to lead to genuine transformation, even if uncomfortable
b) finding a way to help the ego feel safe and mollified in that discomfort
c) giving the analytical brain a job that feels satisfying and actually moves the needle
but doing all of the above requires perception, not judgement. compassion rather than "harsh truths". curiosity over self-flagellation
that's a tough shift for some people. sorry, the most effective path is to be compassionate towards yourself! notice if that feels like bad news
and then stop wasting your time beating yourself up over what your "problem" is and instead start noticing where things are already shifting on your own... and see if you can participate in that process
the problem with chasing status is that it means so many different things to different people
to some, being high-status just means "I get more fun opportunities"
to others, it means "I'm finally worth something"
the latter person is obviously going to have a more tense, grasping, anxious relationship with status... which will cloud their ability to do great work
the former person is going to have a great time
it's not always clear which kind of person you are - which means evaluating your *reasons* for chasing status, at a deep level, is essential
an animal has no choice but to act on their fearful instincts. as a human being, you have a choice as to whether you act on your fear. this is such a fabulous opportunity it’s worth spending a whole lifetime practicing how to do so
the complicating factor, from which much spirituality & therapyspeak unfolds, is that it’s not as easy as “ah, I will simply not act on my fear”
in other words, the overriding/repressive approach to fear works SOMETIMES but not ALWAYS. no matter how much you grit your teeth, you will not transform into someone who is immune to fear’s seductive voice
so we need to get a bit more clever, and a bit more wise. the work of a lifetime thus becomes:
a) how do I recognize when fear is trying to make decisions for me?
b) when can I simply ignore or override it?
c) how can I increase the % of the time that a & b are possible?
awareness, discernment, practice
the core compassion that is essential here is that you can spend decades at this and still fail much of the time. many such cases. that’s the human condition. the fear actually wants you NOT to accept that, because rejecting that truth keeps you trapped in a futile struggle
so the first act is accepting your own limitations. many people get trapped there. if you’re stuck, start with that
your instinct will be to admire the person who fulfills the conditions of your complex
e.g. if you have a father complex that manifests as an obsession with domination (“I must dominate or I’m nothing”), then you’ll instinctually admire the person who dominates every room they’re in
or if you’re on the puer aeternus spectrum, you’ll admire the person who seems the most free & unburdened, worshipping apparent ease
all well & good on the surface - these traits can be worthy of admiration - the problem is that the complex will make you idealize them
as in - ignoring the negative sides. ignoring how the overly dominant man sacrifices true connection, ignoring how the freedom-chaser fails to cultivate the joy of depth
by emulating your instinctual heroes, you end up creating imbalance in your own life
as with most things, the task here is to become more conscious - what am I projecting onto the people I admire? what am I failing to see? how are those blind spots affecting my decisions?
and then - making a choice about who to follow, but making it with clear eyes
"When you try to climb a mountain to prove how big you are, you almost never make it. And even if you do it’s a hollow victory. In order to sustain the victory you have to prove yourself again and again in some other way, and again and again and again, driven forever to fill a false image, haunted by the fear that the image is not true and someone will find out. That’s never the way."
Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance
chasing status is bad if you're doing it from a place of fear "if I don't have status then I don't matter to anyone"
chasing status is great if you're doing it for fun "I want to impact a lot of people in a big way"
tricky thing to discern, though
meditation is a great tool, but it can become just another way to force your mind & body into an “acceptable” shape
if you’re already biased towards discipline & rigidity, and your challenge is seeking more natural spontaneous expression… then I’d invite you to try a different form of meditation
rather than sitting still & trying to silence your mind, follow your body. repeatedly ask your body what it wants to do, and listen for the answer
that might mean shaking, rolling around, kicking your feet, moaning, or sitting still… but whatever it is, allow it to happen, and just keep following what’s next
do this for 15-20min a day and you’ll have a radically different relationship with your embodied intuition. combine that with deep discipline, and now you’re balanced - spontaneous, vital, and effective
basically you’re still running a mental model of reality you came up with when you were five years old in order to explain why you weren’t getting the love that you deeply craved, and while that mental model allowed you to survive it’s now getting in the way of your thriving, and the only way to move forward is to bring it into conscious awareness, interrogate it, and thus transform it into something both more beautiful & more accurate to how the world really works, so that five year old can finally feel safe & relax
high agency = viewing everything as a solvable problem
this worldview is extremely effective and will take you far… until it doesn’t
the human condition includes unsolvable problems. one of the biggest challenges in life is learning to accept them
the longer you’re able to defer that problem, the harder it is to face - because you have so much practice & evidence of “I should be able to fix this”
the fantasy of being high agency is that it’s a universal good, that would improve everything in your life. not so! still worth pursuing, if you like, but there is no panacea for life