Shellie Cohen

Matthew McConaughey as a priest: All rise, all rise, all rise

Me: wow I really gotta start working out again Also me: imma bring this bag of skittles with me on this 20min walk

Having a very regular Thursday night sitting by myself at a hard kombucha brewery watching a burlesque show with live music (played by my bf) and hosted by a man named Scratch in a golden suit jacket and red fedora

It’s wild how far ultimate has come and I’m just so so happy and incredibly impressed by @UNC_Pleiades and @UNC_Darkside !!! LETS GOOOO UNC!!🥇 ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️🌒🥇

Never trust anyone in a leather baseball hat, regardless of how good they are at piano

AHHH @ringultimate AHHHHHHHHHHHH !!!!!!!!!!

Also, love watching @100percentBS beast their way to finals, and love reading @BitterTwitts live tweets as it happens

My goodness it was so great to watch @PhxUltimate play SO WELL, 10 years after their last semis appearance (and maybe fitting that @lisa_couper scored the goal for @furyultimate after being on phx the year after that..in 2012??). WHAT. A. BATTLE.

I am both so deeply impressed at the strength of synchronized swimmers and at the same time so blown away that twins can pick the theme of EVIL DOLLS for their olympic routine. Also they probably listened to this creepy music so many times on repeat youtube.com/watch?v=L8GUHjOA…

Wowowo this Aarizona v Stanford game

A biopic about cotton-eye joe finally returning to that place he left: WHY DID HE LEAVE IN THE FIRST PLACE?? HE HAD A LIFE HERE! HE HAD CHILDREN, A FAMILY!!

I’m moving further and further away from Jane Fonda’s healthy lifestyle and closer and closer to what i assume someone named Jane Fondue’s lifestyle is like.

Get👏drunk👏 FaceTime👏your 👏mom👏 Get👏high 👏 Text👏your👏grandparents👏 Check👏in👏on👏your👏friends👏Especially👏after👏bad👏and👏insane👏days👏