I wanna know why the UK gets the better book covers. I’m over here shopping @Waterstones and paying international shipping for A BOOK I ALREADY HAVE. Those covers are just so much better though.
Imagine spending forever on a kidney transplant list and you end up with mine after I die because I’m an organ donor. I’m sorry.
I feel like this girl at work is trying to be my friend and she said it was a shame that we couldn’t car pool today since we live so close to each other and I said, “Maybe the next funeral.” And she didn’t say anything and just left. So I think I ruined it.
Today kicked my ass so hard that I’ve literally just been laying in bed and staring at the ceiling for the last 2 1/2 hours trying to figure out what just happened to me.
Also the next time you go to your doctor’s office and there’s one person running the entire office and they ask what your name is, if you say literally anything other than your name, nobody is laughing.
Overheard from the man talking to another man while they casually watch their kids play at the park: “If God could give me tits, I’d be a Christian.”
What???
I can’t believe people still drive around to look at tornado damage. Stay the fuck out of those areas unless you live there. What is wrong with you?
🤦🏻♀️ retweeted
Always hike with proper supplies and equipment.
Remember, flippy floppies may lead to slippy sloppies.
Kc: What the heck is that guy’s name in the wheel chair?
Me: Lieutenant Dan?
Kc: What?… No, Stephen Hawking.
