Author of Cigerets, Guns & Beer, Raising Hell and The Worst Noel on Kindle, Nook and iBooks.
@stephens_pt
Joined January 2015
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A showdown between the world's most clueless detective and most sophisticated AI.
The worlds first novel for Twitter, now revised and on sale in pocket paperback.
amazon.com/dp/1732997306
#fiction #NOIR #scifi #darkhumor #humor #TweetNovel
Contributed Tweets for Phillip T Stephens are provided by Cut Rate PIs. Investigations at a bargain basement price. Results not guaranteed
Morticia stood on her porch and surveyed the neighborhood. Dozens of young trick or treaters wearing MAGA hats egging her neighbors’ houses. She would have called immigration to arrest and deport them but in Monsterville, everyone was welcome. Even pre-teen assholes. #TwtStory
Jane answered the door for a mother and four toddlers dressed as zombies. “How precious,” she said. “I have just the thing. Brain candies.” But the kids weren’t happy and ate Jane’s brains instead. Their mother posted a picture and tweeted, “Kids grow up so quickly.” #TwtStory
The old crone brushed off her apron and answered the door. More human kids. She handed out jellied tarantulas and pinkie-finger brittle. When they looked in their bags the kids screamed, dropped them and ran away. The crone leaned over and picked them up. “More for me.” #TwtStory
Elvira opened the door only to find a pirate, a princess, and a pony on her porch, holding out buckets and demanding candy. Once they were gone she shouted, “Honey, the human children are in our neighborhood again.” Vlad logged onto the internet to list their house. #TwtStory
Four trick or treaters stood on the porch holding out jack-o-lantern buckets. They were dressed as toddlers in pre-school clothes. Isabel Pires dropped apples into their buckets. She told her partner Bruna. “That was creepy. Trick or treaters dressed as our dinner.” #TwtStory
Advantage to writing a #TwtStory No. 22: Build an audience for your fiction. Join me with 270 character stories using the x/bsky neutral tag
#TwtStory
#AmWriting #writers #write #MicroFiction #fictionwriter #writerswednesday
And soon it will be only you can clean roads, and only you can educate yourself. #DonaldTrump #MAGA #5ationalForests #ForestService
Contributed Tweets for Phillip T Stephens are provided by Past Life Discount Warehouse. This month's special: 50% off forgotten politicians complete with outdated platforms and antiquated speech.
When the entire eighth grade trick or treated Principal Pratt she told them to go back to class. The next day, after the fire department extinguished the fires, the fire chief explained, “Maybe you should look up the ‘trick’ part before you turn trick or treaters away.” #TwtStory
When their kids didn’t return from the Halloween hay ride, the parents drove to the hay field. But it was abandoned, save for the circular scorch mark. “We should have known,” Tim Rogers’ mother told reporters. “The crop circles and mother ship might have warned us.” #TwtStory
The Jones had just moved to Salt Lake City and were prepared for Mormon themed costumes. Sure enough they saw Joseph Smith, Brigham Young, Harriet Page Young and L. Ron Hubbard? When asked the kid said, “My dad moved here to convert all the suckers ripe for plucking.” #TwtStory
Bob and Jan took photos of their kids in their Halloween costumes. Jan as Kpop demon hunter Rumi. Billy as a Lego Han Solo. Tim as the shark from jaws. The Zombie. “Wait,” Bob said. “We only have three kids. Who’s in the zombie costume?” Turns out it wasn’t a costume. #TwtStory
John knew Janice would be angry but he sneaked a piece of Halloween candy any way. A sharp pain ran through his mouth. He fell to the floor, bleeding to death. “What kind of monster would put a razor in children’s candy?”
His wife said, “No, dear. That was your candy.” #TwtStory
Advantage to writing a #TwtStory No. 5: Focus your writing skills by communicating only what's essentail. Join me with 270 character stories using the x/bsky neutral tag
#TwtStory
#AmWriting #writers #write #MicroFiction #fictionwriter #writerswednesday
