@the_knocks

300 year old hob goblin, smorgasbord enthusiast, origin of all evil

 London, England
Joined January 2012
  • Tweets177
  • Following21
  • Followers10
54Media
No matter how many times I shower I can never seem to wash away my shame
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When your sandwich order kills all the Jedi...
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wint
@dril27 Sep 2017
top ten things you do NOT want to hear in the Nursing profession: 10. Shut the fuck up 9. Fuck you idiot 8. Your pay check is in the trash
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I always make sure I am the dampest man in the room.
My B day is in a few days. 300 years ago from then was when Kaitlin Olson, the original hob goblin, brought me into this world
I haven't seen the sun in 127 years, coincidently it's been 128 since I tried to blow up the sun for being racist toward mole people.
Tfw your an accomplished professor, but also profoundly traumatized
*Screams incoherently at a street light*
Undercover #420 operations are in place. Discreet traps have been set up throughout the city today. #Happy420
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WOW @CNN @cnnbrk Just Released the Footage of the #MOAB striking #Afganistan RT THIS!! xitter.cf/peterboykin/status/852…
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*record scratch* *freeze frame* "Yup, that's me, Abraham Lincoln. You're probably wondering how we all ended up here"
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Last meme of 2016 #Memes2016
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Amiri King
@AmiriKing31 Dec 2016
That Rousey fight... Deja vu. I felt like I was watching the presidential election all over again.
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When ur bae gives you their heart for Christmas
Meme so hard and get so far but in the end it doesn't even matter. Merry Memesmas
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After Midnight
@midnight16 Dec 2016
Nintendo released Super Mario Run today. The game begs the question: Why must Mario always be running?
41%To escape his past
12%It's simply his nature
24%Lose that mushroom weight
23%He runs for his freedom
5,519 votes • Final results
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Jennifer D'aww
@GMShivers17 Dec 2016
Older women in Calgary think it's entirely ok to overhear you call for a cab and then steal it when it rolls up so they don't have to call.
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