I wish the people who have unfriended me on Facebook over the years had stuck around, because I am about to post what I feel are some VERY interesting thoughts about Wheat Thins.

Our house sits right on the city/county line. Four years ago, my wife got a county ballot, and I got a city ballot. So apparently, the boundary runs right up the middle of our bed. If we get in a huge fight between now and Election Day, my wife won't be able to vote for Mayor.

Hi @Wendys. If I am ever elected President of the United States, will you bring back the Buffalo Flavor-Dipped Chicken Sandwich? Thank you. I approve this message.

I'm headlining a show next Friday in Louisville as a fundraiser for Holy Family Church. Call the number on the flyer for tickets!

One thing they don't tell you about your 50's is that you spend a lot less time thinking about your life goals and a lot more time thinking about your favorite sandwiches.

🎼"Ooooooklahoma, where the Cats came sweepin' down the plain And they won by eight, on a pick-six late, Left that QB in a lot of pain...."🎼

College ATHLETICS is a train wreck. College FOOTBALL is perfect.

24 teams in the college football playoff. 76 teams in the NCAA Tournament. They just can't leave perfect stuff alone.

Gonna be awesome when Kelly Clarkson visits Howard Curry Shoes and tries to buy the Talking Tree

Here’s why politics is a terrible religion: -Your “gods” don’t really care about you. -Your “gods” don’t keep their promises. -Your “gods” can’t satisfy your truest needs.

Never give up on your dreams, kids. If Arby's can sell "Steak Bites", then you can do ANYTHING.

How many of these essential oils do I have to drink before I start feeling better

🎼"I HAD THE TIME OF MY LIFE, NO I NEVER FELT THS WAY BEFORE..."🎼

My favorite kale chips are the ones made out of potatoes.

“Children have a much better chance of growing up if their parents have done so first.” - Susan Peters

We are truly living in the golden age of balloon arches.

EAUXLE MISS