Turny

Sometimes you think you have control of your life...then you spend 10 minutes getting your ass kicked by a roll of 1-ply toilet paper in a public bathroom...

It’s all fun & games until the white guy throws on a pair of cargo shorts and busts out the smoker

I don’t usually use my social media for politics But I hope those who will soon have the power to make decisions take today as a lesson on why properly funded education is important. You don’t get this amount of extremism with a good Ed system, and the US’ is horrible.

I mean, what can I say? 🤷🏼‍♂️ @odesza slaps

Finally got my @wearebronson vinyl in the mail today! I’ll be having a needle on this one for a while 😁😁 Also, guess it’s time to start framing and hanging up the AMA box set that i’ve been procrastinating lol @odesza

Finally got a haircut and I feel like a crackhead that just got his fix

Boss during meeting: “So we might be getting a spanish speaking client soon. Austin, I know you were taking your last spanish course before you started here so you can help with the communication.” My Spanish “Knowledge” summed up in one video:

I was listening to a podcast and someone described Joe Exotic as “if Storage Wars were a person” and that’s all I’ve been thinking about for the past week...

I don’t have anything interesting to tweet so here’s a funny video I found of a bee flying into a dude’s mouth 🐝

When the player in the back of the group has been saving their ultimate for the boss

Why does a Pakistani senator follow me? 😂

Shit like the #CatsMovie gets released and theater people wonder why everyone thinks they’re weird

I assume it’s a lot like the Universal backlot tour, but instead of having a chance to see a movie/tv show being filmed, you just have the chance to see a warehouse associate collapse from exhaustion.

Me at 24, having been an offensive lineman in football and a hammer thrower in track & field:

Unpopular opinion: Oreos are absolute ass if you don’t have milk. Don’t @ me

Me: *talks to friends about taking a vacation* My phone, listening in and knowing I’m broke af:

For some reason, when I think about what it would be like if cats could talk, the only voice I ever hear is Eric Cartman.