nothing sus here
Simulation 1.0*10E⁵⁶⁸
Joined October 2011
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Been watching Crystal Lake and it’s so good.
I want to watch the original movies again but I’m gonna view Jason as the good guy now.
Fuck those camp counselors and they’re fucking while kids drown. 😂
Trying to get my plumbing account to 10k on instagram
I’m halfway there
I’m contemplating having my wife post from my account for a while
Let the “internet female account” magic work its wonders 😂
Funny how boobs can help increase follower count. Might as well take advantage
I’m leaving the country in a month and when I return I will undoubtedly be searched by customs.
What are some funny things I can do preemptively to mess with them?
I’ve thought of the obvious like suitcases full of dildos.
I also thought maybe a “Customs Agents Of The US” calendar 😂
Like a sexy firefighter calendar but with customs agents 😂
Obviously I’d need to have it made custom but I can probably think of something much better.
My 16 year old was arrested about a month ago.
He’s accused of blowing up several toilets with fireworks.
He had to spend 21 days in a detention center.
A teacher at the center asked why he was in there and when he told her she busted out laughing hysterically.
He was out for two weeks and then they came and arrested him again yesterday with more allegations (toilets).
When the cops were here, one of them said he saw videos on my son’s phone showing what he did.
The cop thought it was hilarious.
Life isn’t fun.
It’s a chore.
And I’m sick of it.
Can I trade places with someone who is genuinely happy?
Does everybody have a Martin Luther King Jr Blvd in their city?
Wouldn’t it be funny to switch the street name with the richest street in the City?
The answer is Yes. It would be hilarious.
The cherry on top would be all the rich people mad that they now live on MLK 🤣
Just ordered food from Sonic.
If I don’t check in after about 30 minutes that’s normal.
Probably won’t tweet again for a few days.
Maybe months.
Maybe nvm sonic here
Why is there no obvious initiative to create technology that can freeze something as fast as a microwave heats something?
Like I want to put something in a small box, hit a button and three minutes later it’s frozen
It’s a conspiracy
@TheMaytagMan is involved somehow I know it
Dell is missing a golden opportunity to make an ad with @Adele
“I got Adele!”
And then Adele pops up like “You don’t got Me!”
Whatever. It’s a good idea.
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