Seriously, would anyone like a picture of this chocolate brontosaurus? I'm feeling the weirdest pride right now.

Bowel Movement ridiculous *stop* Stuck on bowl *stop* Send sled team with food, you're my only hope twitter. *stop*

Name the classic Christmas buddy comedy that seamlessly costars Andy richter and Kyle gass.

Him? Oh that's Dr. Dre. He's our most resonant resident.

Well she was an angel... .... for Halloween once, but never again.

@jpbboyle @erichayward19 When everybody gets up, it's time to do what now?

@jpbboyle @erichayward19 too late to switch sides you turncoat. #shunthenonbeliever

@jpbboyle @erichayward19 that's what you said about space jam. #shunthenonbeliever

I'd say I'm somewhere between a medium Bruce and a Dave light right now.

Warmest wishes to those who chose to visit the shows.

Always piss up hill It dribbles on your shoes that way.

Still haven't met miss Jones.

*really cool DJ scratch noises*

Hosted a real life "Falling Furni" party last night and now all my friends have busted toes and won't text me. :(

By which I mean, bills from Landgrabbe Savings and Loan. If I neglect them long enough a bank teller will steal my tele with a laser gun.

I get the exact same mail as my Sim does.