Jono (@whoinvitedjon) header
Jono (@whoinvitedjon) profile picture

I miss old twitter. If you're wondering why you've been blocked it's probably because you said something abusive/racist or just stupid 🌈🏳‍🌈

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Joined April 2009
Photo by Jono (@whoinvitedjon)Photo by Jono (@whoinvitedjon)Photo by Jono (@whoinvitedjon)Photo by Jono (@whoinvitedjon)Photo by Jono (@whoinvitedjon)Photo by Jono (@whoinvitedjon)Photo by Jono (@whoinvitedjon)Photo by Jono (@whoinvitedjon)Photo by Jono (@whoinvitedjon)Photo by Jono (@whoinvitedjon)
I'll never salute you, General Settings
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I was surprised by how many kids didn't knock or ring the doorbell - they just came and stood by the door 🎃🤷‍♂️
ok but can you all teach your kids to say "trick or treat" again before next year because the amount of thousand yard stares we received while handing out candy was kind of freaky
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Waiting for trick or treater like...
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My dad tells me stories about things my mom did that I don't think ever really happened
Does anyone else every once in a while like to tell their mom a story from growing up about something you did because now that you’re an adult there is nothing she can do about it?
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Don't give out cans of soda this Halloween. There's still time to get real treats! Those f'ers are heavy to carry around!
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Finally able to get rid of all my extra drugs tonight 🤞🎃
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Wanna feel old? Candy Crush is a nostalgia game now
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Ohhhh, spooky!
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Did you have free reign over your Halloween candy as a kid? My parents rationed out ours - we were still eating candy at Christmas
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I have to share because I can’t get over it. My nephew is 4 and heard a little girl at school call something, “Mrs. Butt.” He said, “Why did she say sins?” Then he’s munching on Pringles and said, “These chips are Mrs. Butt.” 😂😭
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Emptied the dishwasher and the cutlery compartment was all spoons. All spoons?! Shout out to any all spoons people out there 🤜🤛
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Went to a customer's office today. I mentioned Halloween and they asked if I brought any candy. I said that's not the way this works - I'm the trick or treater in this situation. Then I TP'd the place on my way out
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For fifty eight years, my boss in Tokyo believed that beef should be sliced as thin as paper. In Japan, we cook thin meat for four seconds in boiling broth. That is our way. Then last month, the YouTube algorithm showed Director Sato a video of a man in Texas smoking a brisket. It changed his life. On Monday morning, he called me to his desk. His eyes were bloodshot. "Have you seen this?" he whispered, turning his monitor toward me. "The American pitmaster does not sleep for sixteen hours. He sits by the fire in the dark. He guards the meat like a castle." I said, "Sir, it is just a barbecue." He slammed his hand on the desk. "This is not cooking," he said. "This is a vigil." Last Saturday was our annual company picnic by the river in Kanagawa. Normally, we grill thin meat and yakisoba for two hours and go home at 2:00 PM. I arrived at 9:30 AM to help set up. Director Sato was already there. I want to be accurate here: he had been sitting in a folding chair since 10:00 PM on Friday night. He was wearing a towel around his head and staring at a massive black barrel smoker he had imported from Oklahoma. Inside I said: THIS MAN HAS ABANDONED CORPORATE LIFE FOR THE SMOKE. When we tried to help him, he held up a pair of metal tongs and clicked them twice. "Step back," he said calmly. "The stall has begun. Nobody opens the lid." Twelve Japanese accountants stood in complete silence around a barrel for four more hours. Nobody dared to eat a single noodle until he gave the signal. At 1:45 PM, he sliced the meat. It fell apart on the cutting board. My boss looked at the pink smoke ring, nodded once, and wiped a single tear from his cheek. He has already submitted an official budget request for a trailer smoker for next fiscal year.
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So far today has been filled with pain and regret. Mostly about not being more careful when I zipped up my fly this morning
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Jono retweeted
This weekend, the United States should turn their clocks back to the Obama Administration.
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Being an addict takes so much of your time that when you become sober you have to find something else
I don't think people who replace their addictions with religion are truly sober.
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I want to go to the hospital in Green Bay. Christian Watson left in the ambulance and was back on the field in just over an hour #TNF
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How long until we can get meme or gif tattoos? I would get this one.
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Air Supply…… they are rumoured to be all out of it.
Who’s a band or artist you believe doesn’t get enough love? Of course, this is a matter of opinion.
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Sorry kids. Halloween isn't coming this year because dad ate all the candy again
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Backstreet's Back is a Halloween song
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