lena

I'm seeing a lot of misinformation and straight up lies about me right now and a lot of confusion so one last tell-all before I'm gone for good. I didn't expect my tweet to blow up like it did, I retired like 6 months ago and this tweet was meant to just be some closure for me personally where I reflected on my 4 years in/around apex as a whole. I expected it to *maybe* get like 50 likes, but here we are. I got dropped from OBVN pretty abruptly after champs. It didn't make much sense to me then but I didn't make a fuss, I knew they never really wanted a coach in the first place and they were great to work with for my full time with them & I'm still very grateful for the opportunity. With that said, after I got dropped there were some... Interesting rumours circulating that just weren't true at all. People say I had nothing prepped and didn't say anything on Finals day. It's true I was quiet that day, but not because I was there to "just aura farm" (insane ass rumour btw, who tf started that). I was quiet because I was sick as fuck and probably shouldn't have even been there that day. I had an insane fever, I could barely stand up for most of the set and everything past 10ft in front of me was a blur. I was carried through the latter half of that day by pure adrenaline and I tried my best, but when the day was over and I got back to the hotel to drop off my bags, I collapsed and was bedridden for three days. I didn't go to the after-party, I didn't hang out with any of my friends around Sapporo, I could barely even walk to the bathroom. The team all know this, I mentioned this to them in the group chat after the event and in the call when I was dropped, so I have absolutely no idea where this rumour even came from. Even still, people spreading that rumour and discrediting my entire career because of one day where I was less effective proves my point that my work was taken for granted the entire time I was in the scene. I worked 12 hour days, 7 days a week for months (no exaggeration) studying teams' macro timings & tendencies to help shape our own macro. I tried setting up times to get into customs with the guys to prep stuff, but Mon went ahead and did it without me by himself, which is now being used to discredit me further. Saudi taking over definitely contributed to my decision to retire, but more than anything it was simply because when I was LFT, there were no spots open for me to fill on other teams and no money in the scene for me to be able to pay my bills. That, on top of all of the misogyny and transphobia I've had to deal with across my time in eSports (especially after champs) just made it so I wanted to get a normal job that actually paid me and move on. I've been trying to move on the entire time, but things keep happening behind the scenes that keep me in limbo and stop me from truly leaving. This is the last time I get roped back in. I'm done. I'm also done protecting other people's secrets while I get slandered and insulted. Monsoon and Blinkzrr are withholding a combined $15,000 from my champs cut citing "taxes." Mon in particular led me on the entire time he was doing this by insisting he "had" to do it because there was no way for him to not get taxed on my cut and he didn't want to just tank 7k that didn't even end up in my pocket. I've since come to learn that this is an Andrew Tate tactic. The gaslighting stopped when I found out that Contractor Fees can get written off your taxes, so both of them *could* have paid me in full and not had to tank the tax on it (to my understanding). When I told both of them this, they started ghosting me completely. I'm now having to scramble to find 9kUSD by April so my partner and I can still qualify for a Visa, something we wouldn't have to do if they'd have just paid me like we agreed on. For the record, Fun paid me in full as agreed, no questions asked, and is still a good friend. He's always done right by me and I truly wish him the best in everything.