Bitter Tea Tor

The only real problem I’ve ever had, like ppl who genuinely make me unable to engage with them are ppl who talk over me, or conversation hog, or treat me/my stuff like it’s fair game for them to touch/take/disregard. you know, just being rude. Otherwise, it’s fine? Ppl are fine.

I work in the library & hang out at mostly queer-focused things, so I mostly engage with neurodivergent ppl w/ their own ‘norms’ & it’s fine. There is no one “social etiquette” I even follow other than learning how to ask ppl abt their lives & offer up my own

What's funny too is that adapting to surface level politeness is easier than a lot of other social expectations. It's just scripts and polite nodding. Figuring out navigating other ppl's neurodivergencies esp when different than mine is harder. Most of my social learning is there

Like the language itself is written in such a way to be incredibly off putting, and I find that funny coming from someone arguing that you should be less self-centered

There is actual good advice to be had abt how being social is about learning to navigate how other ppl see the world and adapting to that (which is honestly v individual & not one set of "norms") but their post itself is very hostile to the social space they're addressing.

I like saying Jesus Houseflipping Christ

also the experience of all your friends being boys & being okay when it’s just you and one of them, but if they play together suddenly you are the target for heaping quantities of misogyny that they use to bond with each other

6 years old & most of my friends were like “I want to play with boys now” & then I went and played by myself & tried not to cry

if the existence of self-driving cars makes you worry more ppl will opt for cars over bus or train, then you are acknowledging there is something cars have that buses and trains don’t. & that you want some ppl to *have* to take those limited options so *you* don’t

like if your anxiety abt self-driving cars is that it will put ppl who would otherwise not drive on the road, increasing traffic & the amt of cars, but you yourself do not take public transit, then you want a class of ppl restricted from car access to maintain -your- car use

the response people have to even the hypothetical of self-driving cars are always so weird esp when it’s coming from people who do not take public transportation anywhere. driving is such a class issue & lots of ppl need nondrivers to exist to maintain their class & it shows

I think csa survivors should be allowed to worm their way into the heads of many people and induce what twitter thinks is ‘moral ocd’ until they can’t look at their own reflection without wanting to vomit

Or I guess unless you’re willing to argue that feminists have unfairly maligned cys men when talking about sexual violence, but I’m seeing this argument from people who otherwise seem to understand the relationship between patriarchy and rape, so

This isn’t even about cocsa, this is literally people arguing that women “pass sexual trauma” to other children at an equal rate as men. You cannot say that unless you think that rape is something fundamentally different than raping a child.

People talk about csa as if it is completely and entirely separated from patriarchy & therefore rape in such a way that I am seeing people argue that sexual violence against children is committed equally by every gender bc it is a trauma you “pass on” to others