“Still an issue.” Like you’re describing a leaky shower head or a slightly loud fridge. Sublime

Not me getting free tickets to see 1/6 of Jurassic 5

Just saw a user called HowlingBunghole gently commiserating with someone who’d been brutally dumped & isn’t that really what the internet’s all about

Roses are red A baby deer’s a fawn

Girl 😍

I’ve picked an incredible day to go to the marina for lunch

Big Saturday

Taxi driver’s just given me a full rundown of the ins & outs of daylight savings

Our Donald’s having a mare this week isn’t he

Why is carrying an umbrella around so embarrassing

Me trying to put on the big show despite my impending divovo

In retrospect I probably should’ve named the kitten “stop it” or “no” but still, she cute

I like how it was revealed this week that that famous old Bigfoot footage was fake & no one anywhere gave a shit

Why’s this nerd always talking like he’s Sephiroth

Just heard the cough from Theme Hospital in Hunger Games: Mockingjay Part 1

I can’t even imagine how dead inside you have to be to actively watch LinkedIn reels

Good afternoon

Wednesday

Me when some champion of the people decides to tell a noisy dickhead in the cinema to stfu