@5stringTex

Native Texan, long-time Atlantan. Anglican, liberty lover, Army vet, bass player, father, & husband. Football (Texans, Army), Braves, theology, music, memes.

 Smyrna, GA
Joined November 2013
  • Tweets67K
  • Following758
  • Followers1.2K
5.6KMedia
The latest sunrises of the entire year are this week - not because of astronomy, but because of the artifical setting of our clocks. Next week, we'll get to have sunrises and sunsets at natural times.
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Jewel
Thrilla the Gorilla
@ThrillaRilla36922h
Date yourself with one concert you went to. 🎸 No year. No story. Just the band — we'll figure out the rest.
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The SNF theme song is like one of those tweets that says 'For every 10 likes I'll make this guy's head bigger' but it's 'for every season we keep using Carrie Underwood we'll make the song worse.'
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Jeff ⚓️ retweeted
Jay Pea
@mr_jay_pea20h
It is indeed.
“Rogue One” meme. The villain asks “Telling time by the sun? Really?” The hero answers “It’s a peaceful life.”

ALT “Rogue One” meme. The villain asks “Telling time by the sun? Really?” The hero answers “It’s a peaceful life.”

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British Columbia electing a conservative government is insane. Maybe there's still hope for Canada.
Elections Stats@ElectionsStatsOct 25
🇨🇦 BRITISH COLUMBIA • RESULTS 2026 British Columbia General Election 🧮 99.6 % counted 🌊 BC Conservatives: 47.9 | 64 seats 🟧 BC NDP: 37.3 | 27 🟢 BC Greens: 10.9 | 2 ⛰️ CentreBC: 1.6 1️⃣ OneBC: 1.5 ... Numbers in % ——— #Canada #BritishColumbia #BC #BCPoli
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Back to back INTs in Austin!
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Bukele is going to wreak havoc in Haiti.
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UCF wins and the goalposts are down within 30 seconds!
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Scott Frost when he realizes a field goal gives you the lead
College Football Zone
@CollegeFBonXOct 24
BYU’s defense with a massive stop!!
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For example...
Joshua Penduck@JoshuaPenduckOct 24
This poster from the 1924 UK election has all the makings of a great meme
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The Reagan-Gorbachev summits in Switzerland.
King Abert
@Abert_SquirrelOct 21
What is the oldest political news story you can remember? For me it's Joe Biden being selected as Obama's VP.
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Bukele raiding Haiti is a lot like what Jefferson did in the Barbary Wars: raiding a lawless pirate state to rescue its own citizens.
Big Dave
@BigDaveOct 22
Replying to @TheNancyRoc
“To those who think that Nayib Bukele can…” Well, if he does, then he can. The Haitian government is not exactly in any position to stop him. Just like they’re not in any position to stop a cannibal gang leader named Barbecue.
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Rice
Daphne 🌿🕊@eyeamsushmitaOct 21
Hey- when y’all make chili, what’s your go to side? Is it crackers, cinnamon rolls, or sweet cornbread?
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No Kings All Cringe
Brendan Gutenschwager
@BGOnTheScene18 Oct 2025
Demonstrators dancing at a “No Kings” protest today in Chicago
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Virgo Mortensen? The Western movie actor?
Westerns & the Old West
@DavidLambertArtOct 20
Happy 68th Birthday to Viggo Mortensen
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This might be the most inside libertarian joke there is.
Doc Brown, Wer-Boi Autumn 🍂🌕
@AltphilologeOct 20
"What is Arepo?"
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I passed this sign more times than I can count on the Indian reservation near Tacoma.
Garbage Human
@GarbageHuman24Oct 19
LMAOOOOO 🤣
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Quis custodiet ipsos custodes?
Complex
@ComplexOct 19
Florida’s former gambling addiction helpline director has been sentenced to nearly 10 years in prison for stealing $1.4 million from his former employer to fund his gambling habit. Philip Lee Sullivan, 43, later became the head of the state’s gambling helpline, where he spoke with hundreds of people struggling with addiction. He was also ordered to repay nearly $1.5 million, while his defense argued that prescription ADHD medication contributed to his gambling behavior. 📷 Bay County Sheriff's Department via WJHG
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Samson: You’re not trying to find my weakness so that you can betray me are you? Delilah:
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Mormonism teaches that Lucifer (Satan) is real and had a plan for saving humanity, but God liked Jesus's plan better, and Lucifer got jealous of his older brother Jesus (which Mormonism also teaches) and that's why he became the devil. So for Mormons, this ⬇️ is not far-fetched.
Commie Gibberish of the Day@CommieGibberishOct 17
In the 4th episode of season 4 of Invincible, it is revealed that Satan is real, but is actually a GOOD guy. Also humans OWE him, for saving them. This is a clever reference to the fact that the entire team behind the Invincible TV show is Jewish. ✡️🔍
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