My crime: not promoting contact with my abuser. My abusers crime: #Childassault, s3xual assault, r4pe, #domesticabuse, #emotionalabuse, #coercivecontrol, #financialabuse, #medicalneglect, #perjury, #gaslighting, #litigationabuse and #animalabuse to name a few. The current situation: children removed from me and placed with the abuser. #familycourt #cafcass #corrupt #corruption #bias #notfitforpurpose #shamingvictims #blamingvictims #enablingabuse

I don't expect my ex to know everything. I certainly don't. But I do expect him to know the basics - especially when he's been repeatedly presented as the "better" parent. Does he know that constant moves destabilise children? That hours spent commuting aren't in their best interests? That animals repeatedly breeding, suffering, and dying through neglect can be traumatic for children? That regularly struggling to feed them isn't what "putting children first" looks like? That telling children one minute their mother is safe, then unsafe, then safe again is harmful in itself? Apparently none of that matters. Because in family court, stability is negotiable. Safety is subjective. Reality is inconvenient. The parent who says, "Please protect these children" is treated as the problem. The parent who says, "Yes, Judge. Whatever you say, Judge," is treated as cooperative. I've spent two years trying to understand that contradiction. Two years later, the children have moved 11 times. Home has been a house, a hotel, someone else's sofa, and most often a caravan with fewer bedrooms than people. Food is sometimes available. Sometimes not. There are sometimes baby bunnies. Sometimes kittens. Then there aren't. Yet somehow this is considered stability. Family courts often tell us children's welfare is paramount. If that's true, what exactly is the threshold? How much instability does a child have to live through before it matters? How much chaos is acceptable, provided the parent experiencing it doesn't challenge the court? No contact brings a certain peace because I no longer have to witness every detail in real time. But peace and safety aren't the same thing. The harm doesn't stop just because I can no longer see it happening in real time. And every time I hear about another move, another struggle, another crisis, I'm left wondering: Was I really punished for being wrong? Or for refusing to pretend everything was fine?