Jeff Michael (@CaptainDecoy) header
Jeff Michael (@CaptainDecoy) profile picture

Never forget that the first and clearest example of common sense is that the earth is flat and the sky revolves around it.

Flourtown PA
Joined April 2010
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“Music was originally discreet, seamless, simple, masculine, and of good morals. Have not the moderns rendered it lascivious beyond measure?” — Jacobus of Liége, ca. 1300
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Nobody thinks that. Anybody dumb enough to have thought that would have learned the right was to spell it from the Ramones at the very least.
Trump: I can't believe it took me 10 years. Dumocrat. You replace the E with a U and nobody knows there's the B. Does anybody know this? Most people think it's D U M. They don't know.
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Wow. What a piece of shit. Does she think Republicans will see her any differently whether or not her shitty self-centeredness works in their favor this one time? Traitors end up hated by everybody. Dumbass.
I am endorsing Mike Rogers for the United States Senate today.
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Well, scribe, per your wise suggestion, I pulled World’s End off the shelf and gave it a reread. It feels a little different when you’re Truman’s age instead of Walter’s, but not completely, thanks to the quality of the writing. Still a masterpiece!
Reread it and let us know what you discover about that question.
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Nobody shows better than thou how history, while a line, coils up in sloppy piles. Your leitmotifs are incredible: limb losses, odd catastrophic eating disorders, raccoon skin coats…it’s Wagnerian.
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A ‘TeleRally’. Okay, Sleepy Don…
TO THE GREAT PEOPLE OF FLORIDA, I will doing a TeleRally, LIVE, at 3:30pm ET — Answer your phones, and ENJOY! President DONALD J. TRUMP
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But, but…the blockchain tho!
Billions in cryptocurrency have been stolen from Binance in what could be the biggest heist in history. Sky's @rowlsmanthorpe discusses how the attackers took the money in minutes, and what happens now. 📺 trib.al/xDYvEPT
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Hey, by the way, if you’d like to see a side of Patrick Stewart you might have missed, check out Blunt Talk. I seem to remember season two being a bit of an afterthought, but that first season was hilarious.
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Who has cameras running in their living room like that?
Shocking video captured a portable phone charger bursting into flames on a woman's couch as the battery failed without warning. She escaped injury and the homeowners quickly put the fire out. @ABC News' Perry Russom reports. abcnews.link/jJIE6m0
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Well that’s gonna leave a big, big hole In the world. Several worlds, really. Thanks for all of it, Sir Patrick.
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Wow, such power. So manly.
Trump: We brought inflation way down. We have it way down now. When the war ends, it will come way down. It can be over whenever I want it to be over. Someone asked me, 'when will the war in Iran end?' I said, whenever I want it to end
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Serious question: what was crazy about the Obama years? I don’t remember that being a particularly crazy time…?
NEW: Speaker Mike Johnson tells @LauraIngraham that polls are “inaccurate” and “grossly underestimating Republican enthusiasm.” “Keep voting. Shock them.” “We do not want to go back to crazy.” “I'm afraid if these Democrats took control of Congress, it would be crazier even than the Obama years
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Are we not supposed to be okay with that? Who is mourning Hitler’s Alpine retreat?
NEW - Adolf Hitler's Alpine retreat, the Eagle's Nest, was completely destroyed after a potential arson attack last night in Bavaria's Berchtesgaden, Germany.
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Donald Trump’s boyfriend’s fiefdom is called the Democratic People’s Republic of Korea. Not sure if any of that (other than Korea) is really applicable to North Korea.
Hitler was a far left socialist. Literally in the name of his party!
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Makes perfect sense. They’ve already made it clear they’d like to bring eugenics back to the military, why not engineer murderdogs?
BREAKING: Trump and His Deranged Goons Are Breeding Monsters—Hellhounds—in Latest Confirmation They Are Cartoonishly Evil I hope every supposedly religious person who votes for Donald Trump has to explain in the afterlife how it was Christian to vote for the guy with hellhounds.
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What amazes me is, for such a vain, narcissistic person, he really accepts shoddy work. The suits and ties, the hair, the makeup, the godawful coverup attempts of the hand bruising. If he’s so fucking rich and classy, how does he look so awful so much of the time?
😳 here's pictures taken today of Trump's right and left hands. Both are looking really bad, and he's using makeup on each of them to try to mask it (note how the left one is now looking just as nasty as the right one -- that's new) (Aaron Schwartz/Getty)
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What the hell else would that guy say? You have to wonder what there might be locked deeply away in the deepest darkest corners of Ivanka’s mind.
Trump says @VivekGRamaswamy should KEEP UP the ad featuring @amyactonoh’s mother, who has not cared for her in over 50 years after her stepdad was indicted for raping then 12yo Acton:
There's a new version of this post
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There's no way he can name more than two oceans. No fucking way.
Trump: I called Google Maps to change the name of the Atlantic Ocean to Trump Ocean. Sundar said, “No, no, no. This time I'm not doing it.” He said, “Oceans are different, sir. They cover a lot of countries. Please don't ask us to do that.” So we'll probably pass. Let's keep it the Atlantic Ocean.
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Oh man, there’s gonna be some ketchup on the gold tomorrow!
Minnesota congressional candidate Eric Pratt’s campaign appeared to accidentally have clear instructions for its website, which featured the line: “The President is not popular, so all messaging should be focused on local politics and needs.” wapo.st/4yvz7qT
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Aw. So sad.
Russian milbloggers report the second loss of a Russian Air Force Su-30 fighter today. The crew reportedly did not survive.
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These crybaby fucks. "Backlash is an attack" is exactly what you'd expect from pussies who cry "free speech free speech" after they say something shitty and, hey presto, somebody else calls them on it.
"Vivek Ramaswamy had the audacity to run a TV commercial which calls it out like it is, and calls Amy Acton a liar." VP JD Vance defends Vivek Ramaswamy as Democrats and the Ohio media focus on his latest campaign ad targeting Acton and her family. Vance says the backlash is just the latest in a series of attacks against his longtime friend. "I've watched the Democrats lie about his family," Vance says, adding that he's watched them "throw every dirty trick in the political book at Vivek." Download the Fox News app or go to Foxnews.com for more: foxnews.onelink.me/xLDS/z2jy…
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