
I follow smart, funny people. Big plus to anyone with horror in their profile. I am liberal and #BLM .
NorCal
Joined October 2010
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Masturbating in the shower with an herbal soap while listening to a song with Gregorian Chants summons a 10th century witch.
I know this now.
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No, Iβm not sorry for saying it, Iβm sorry you found out and Iβm sorry if you expected more. I only said it cause itβs true so maybe you should apologize.
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I guess weβre calling that load of clothes a full pre-wash, cause someone forgot detergent and it wasnβt the dog.
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I would be more optimistic about things getting better if they weren't getting worse
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I assume all car salespeople have spent time in prison.
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sorry for the things i said when i was on ibuprofen
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The loan sharkβs question was a good one: do I ever want to walk again?
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Halloween candy is expensive this year so Iβll just be handing out razorblades
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Business idea: A haunted corn maze, except what makes it scary are all the pesticides that are slowly poisoning us
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we all have our fantasies. mine is getting every book i ever lent anyone back in the same identical condition in which it was loaned
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Me: *asks Siri a question because I'm driving and can't search*
Siri: I found the answer and I'll tell you when you're not driving
Me:
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if shit is not getting done at work, give a gay a clipboard













