@CrashCourseCmdy

Hello, cockatoos! Jackie T. here, some gaudy-print-and-spiked-jacket wearing sarcastic punky dork with a technicolor hair strip. No refunds. She/her.

 Kalamazoo area, MI
Joined May 2014
  • Tweets4.6K
  • Following1.1K
  • Followers316
172Media
I've had Cassandra experiences more than once, especially with my job.
Callum Stephen (He/Him)@AutisticCallum_16 Feb 2023
Autistic life is being a Cassandra; our pattern-spotting, dot-connecting and pragmatism mean that we can predict future outcomes with great accuracy, yet our predictions are rarely valued or believed.
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James Urbaniak@JamesUrbaniak16 Feb 2023
Wow. The Venture Bros. pilot first aired 20 years ago, February 16, 2003. What a long, strange, scientastic trip it's been.
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Katy Stoll@katystoll16 Feb 2023
Decided I need more hobbies so I just bought a paint by numbers kit and a beginner pottery wheel excited to let them sit on my table for a few months before I pack them away!
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@dril15 Feb 2023
its actually beautiful how half the posters here think its open mic night and the other half think theyre at some sort of permanent funeral
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Yeah sex is great, but have you ever won the trust of a kitty cat?
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Grown woman here, and saaaaame...
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That's not medicine, that's developer fluid for photography darkrooms! Get your damn shots and quit fucking around with quackery!
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I have to take a pill before bed. If I don't wash that pill down with a full glass of water, it sticks to the side of my esophagus like a barnacle on the side of a boat.
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@jaybronious6 Feb 2023
Me: I’m not going to drink before bed Me: I’m not going to drink before bed Me: I’m not going to drink before bed Me: I’m not going to drink before bed Me 5 minutes before bed: If I don’t have a full glass of water right now my body will disintegrate into a pile of dust
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My husband would be ahead of the curve for once.
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John Taffer doesn't have as much poll as he used too.
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You forgot "wake up sheeple!", "do your research", and something about purebloods. Why did I return to Twitter again?
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Don't you DARE give H&M and all those fast fashion companies any ideas!!!
Jason Anarchy - Game Design Man@DrinkingQuest5 Feb 2023
I predict that 10 years from now there will be a trend where pants are no longer sold together You will have to buy 1 pant at a time Companies will charge considerably more per pant than we're already paying Customers will show their personality through wacky pant combinations
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Is he a cow?
Casey James Salengo@caseyJsalengo5 Feb 2023
Your ass is grass and I’m gonna eat it!
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Sophie Ross Brooks@sophrossbrooks19 Jan 2023
Seeing 25 year olds on here saying they were the “first teens on social media” and that they invented it This is 2005 MySpace and 2007 Facebook page erasure You will not silence us or rewrite our history!
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I have a few times; it's the saved videos I forget about frequently.
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Rainbow Cockatoo 🦜 retweeted
Chip Chantry@ChipChantry21 Jan 2023
“Ok, so he’s an animal, but he’s also a REAL asshole.” -every single cartoon pitch, 1940-1980
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It's not just me?!?
april daniels hussar@aprilhussar19 Jan 2023
Do other families have Bad Mugs that no one wants to use but for some reason they just live eternally in the cupboard and take up too much space yet there they remain, never being chosen?
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Lady Emily ☄️@GreatCheshire17 Jan 2023
I think we should give They Might Be Giants the chance to write a musical. I think they’d kill it
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Somebody didn't have the Dino Eggs or Magic Swirl oatmeal growing up.
Pedro Salinas@salinas_pedro16 Jan 2023
Cereal: The world is a magical adventure! There's leprechauns and tropical birds and tigers with abs! All your dreams will come true! Have more sugar! Oatmeal: There's nothing to life but eating, shitting, and working. Strap on the feedbag and crank spreadsheets, horse
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As much as I love the pun, Harry Chapin died in 1981.
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