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Science Mom 🔬 (@EmSlyce) profile picture

Science Mom 🔬

@EmSlyce

Discovering that toddlers and logic don't mix. Seen on @Huffpost @buzzfeed @TODAY_Parents @cheezburger and many more. My tweets are here ⬇️

teapawt.org/search/from:emslyce(exclude:replies)min_faves:100
Joined February 2012
  • Tweets31.8K
  • Following1.7K
  • Followers6.6K
1KMedia
Photo by Science Mom 🔬 (@EmSlyce)Photo by Science Mom 🔬 (@EmSlyce)Photo by Science Mom 🔬 (@EmSlyce)Photo by Science Mom 🔬 (@EmSlyce)Photo by Science Mom 🔬 (@EmSlyce)Photo by Science Mom 🔬 (@EmSlyce)Photo by Science Mom 🔬 (@EmSlyce)Photo by Science Mom 🔬 (@EmSlyce)Photo by Science Mom 🔬 (@EmSlyce)Photo by Science Mom 🔬 (@EmSlyce)
Me: *whispering* if you hold very still, she won't see us... Him: our daughter is not a T-rex.
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Good morning Parental Units! It’s that time of the week where we ask for parenting tweets and you send them to us! Do you best to keep it clean and have fun! Ends at 6pm est or when the kids have taken over! teapawt.org/mcdadstuff/status/1630…
Image from Parental Misguidance (@parentalmis)
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There’s no better time than now (until 6pm EST) for our weekly parenting tweet call! Reply with some PG parenting tweets for likes, laughs, and RTs. teapawt.org/kevinthedad/status/161…
Image from Parental Misguidance (@parentalmis)
Kevin The Dad (@kevinthedad) profile pictureKevin The Dad@kevinthedad21 Jan 2023
I told my 5yo that he could have some popcorn if he promised to listen to me more and his response was “what did you say” so we’re off to a great start
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Happy Sunday! It’s time for everyone’s favorite Tweet Call of the week (or so we tell ourselves). Drop us a few PG parenting tweets for likes, RTs, and our condolences. Ends at 6pm EST. teapawt.org/rodlacroix/status/1614…
Image from Parental Misguidance (@parentalmis)
The Real Rodney Lacroix (@RealRodLacroix) profile pictureThe Real Rodney Lacroix
@RealRodLacroix15 Jan 2023
[6 AM] Child [coming out of bedroom]: Do you think Lightning McQueen has car insurance or life insurance? Me [rubbing temples]: it is way too early for this
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Come one, come all- it’s time to share some laughs and groans with all PG parenting tweets all day, or until 6pm EST. Drop a few for likes, RTs, and commiseration. teapawt.org/copymama/status/160991…
Image from Parental Misguidance (@parentalmis)
SpacedMom (@copymama) profile pictureSpacedMom@copymama2 Jan 2023
I don’t know much about parenting, but I know there’s a goldfish cracker under your couch right now.
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It’s January 1 and my kid keeps making jokes like “I haven’t farted all year”. The dad genes are strong with this one.
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Ladies and gentlemen, moms and dads, it’s a new year with the same old parenting nonsense! Share with us your PG parenting tweets for love and head shakes. Ends at 6pm. teapawt.org/deloisivete/status/160…
Image from Parental Misguidance (@parentalmis)
meghan (@deloisivete) profile picturemeghan
@deloisivete24 Dec 2022
A classmate told my 7yo that his mom and dad are Santa, and now my kid wants to know how Jackson’s parents are getting into our house tonight
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I like to feed my kid balanced meals from the 4 toddler food groups. 1. Things he ate yesterday that he refused today. 2. Things he doesn’t want but I’m hoping to get him to eat anyway. 3. Things he thinks he wants but will spit out after one bite. 4. Goldfish crackers.
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We kissed in front of our 5 year old and she’s been laughing for six minutes straight, in case anyone’s wondering what married life is like after kids
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My 3yo made this gingerbread house and I think someone better do a welfare check on Santa
Image from Science Mom 🔬 (@EmSlyce)
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Science Mom 🔬 retweeted
Fomo Simpson (@HaliPhacks) profile picture
Fomo Simpson@HaliPhacks23 Dec 2022
👏FIX👏ALL👏THE👏BROKEN👏SELF-CHECKOUTS👏
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Science Mom 🔬 retweeted
Jacana Mommy (@jacanamommy) profile picture
Jacana Mommy@jacanamommy23 Dec 2022
80% of marriage is showing your spouse the item they couldn't find is in the exact place you told them to look.
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Science Mom 🔬 retweeted
Melissa (@awkwardenabled) profile picture
Melissa@awkwardenabled23 Dec 2022
[eating sugar, dairy, processed food] My body: perfect things are going well [drinking 1.5 gallons of water] My body: sick for 4 days due to water poisoning
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Science Mom 🔬 retweeted
A Dad Influence (@gbergan) profile picture
A Dad Influence@gbergan23 Dec 2022
Just wrapped my gifts without patching a single short side so, obviously, I'm buying a lottery ticket.
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Science Mom 🔬 retweeted
Daddy Go Fish (@daddygofish) profile picture
Daddy Go Fish@daddygofish23 Dec 2022
Sure the tv show Survivor looks challenging but have you ever gone grocery shopping with your in-laws?
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Science Mom 🔬 retweeted
Adam (@adamgreattweet) profile picture
Adam@adamgreattweet23 Dec 2022
my favorite holiday tradition is setting my out of office email status
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Science Mom 🔬 retweeted
meghan (@deloisivete) profile picture
meghan
@deloisivete23 Dec 2022
My 7yo is arguing with me about why he can’t go outside in -34 windchill and all I can say is this kid better become a lawyer
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thankfull my daughter is home from college otherwise I wouldn't have anyone to point out which characters on the TV shows I'm watching have really nice eyebrows
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