Occasionally I am proud of the autistic snark that passes for my sense of humour. This is one of those occasions.

Banning non-citizens from accessing welfare and NDIS payments would boost the budget by another $2 billion, said Shadow Treasurer Tim Wilson. Tim, my darling boy, do you really not know or understand that the NDIS is only for Australian citizens? Sure, there are some permanent residents, but given that they are projecting that they will kick off 300,000 participants by 2031, the math ain’t mathing. Savings from whom, exactly? How many people are you expecting to exclude? How much of that billion comes from the NDIS, and how much from welfare payments that already have residency restrictions and waiting periods? The figures add up on paper, but you’ve published none of the assumptions needed to establish whether they’re credible. And where have you accounted for the costs transferred to hospitals, state services and families when people are denied disability support? Calling something a Parliamentary Budget Office costing doesn’t absolve you of explaining it. Perhaps you should publish the underlying assumptions, the participant numbers and the separate savings for each programme. Because right now, your $2 billion looks less like a demonstrated saving and more like a number desperately searching for an explanation. Oh. And we intend to make sure you lose the election. Sorry, love. Not just you - you won’t be lonely. You and Jim can set up shop together. Selling, idk, Victorian trinkets or tiny ornate bottles of gin :) (I am here for this) citynews.com.au/2026/coaliti… There’s a hole in your budget, dear Timmy, dear Timmy. @TimWilsonMP