So does her cooking, cleaning and doing all the childcare not make you feel loved? If having a job is all you need to do to make her feel loved, then it sounds like cooking your meals and doing your laundry should count as making you feel loved, no? What the duty sex discourse ultimately comes down to is "his emotional needs are of utmost importance, her emotional needs are stupid and childish" Notice how the question is always "Do I get to stop paying the bills if she won't have sex?" It's never: "Does she get to stop cooking and cleaning and taking care of the kids if he won't romance her?" No - because wanting romance is stupid and childish But wanting to get your wiener wet at a moment's notice? Utmost importance Are you hurt that he forgot your birthday again? Stupid and childish Does he want to get his wiener wet? Utmost importance Are you hurt that he hasn't asked you a single question about your day in five years? Stupid and childish Does he want to get his wiener wet? Utmost importance Are you hurt that he takes his family's side every time they insult or disrespect you? Stupid and childish Does he want to get his wiener wet? Utmost importance In the land of duty sex, a woman’s emotional well-being is a frivolous luxury, but a man’s sexual satisfaction is essential infrastructure If a man isn't getting laid on demand, it's a marital crisis, a betrayal of sacred vows, and grounds for immediate abandonment But if a woman isn't getting emotional safety, respect, or basic appreciation, she's just being dramatic and needs to suck it up and pretend to be horny every single evening if that's what he wants But he has no obligation to try and be romantic for her, not even for one evening So please, spare me the "buh muh need to feel loved" It's not about needing to feel loved It's about the need to control the terms of the relationship so you can classify your desires as non-negotiable requirements while classifying her desires as optional accessories