Get you a person that says things like “I paused it and waited for you to get back so we can watch this segment about vampire kids together”
Judge Judy? More like judge Who’s she? Is a joke I’d have made if I were a standup when Judge Judy debuted.
I just saw an ad for a jacket and the tag was “the jacket that you’ll wear over and over again” as if that’s not already what you do when you buy a fucking jacket????
essential twerker retweeted
Cards Against Humanity is donating 100% of their profits to the National Network of Abortion Funds if the order comes from a state restricting abortion access.
If someone selects “I didn’t agree to this” an additional $5 donation is added to their cart. 😂
Do you flop around yelling “Thomas J can’t see without his glasses” when you misplace your specs or are you no fun?
Therapist: and where do you think this anxiety is coming from?
Everyone woman in her 30s: the group chat.
I would say I’ve been existing, but not ✨thriving✨ since they changed the fries at Burger King in the mid aughts and the McNuggets at McDonald’s in the early 2000s.
essential twerker retweeted
Democrats are not powerless here. Abolish the filibuster and codify Roe v. Wade as the law of the land. Inaction is absolutely unacceptable.
I would very much like to ‘yuck’ the phrase: “don’t yuck my yum” and I know there’s someone out there who’s yum is saying that phrase “don’t yuck my yum”
Are they my sworn enemy now?
Oh good it’s the time of year when instagram makes sure every other post on my tl is of a bathing suit for sale
I don’t care what the calendar says, it’s summer in greater Boston based on how frequently construction is doubling the length of time it takes to get anywhere.
