Vulpes Inculta

The tapeworms did not come from me. I am dewormed and deflea-ed. Caesar wraps the tablet up in a piece of meat, I spit it out, he then jams it down the back of my throat and holds my jaw shut until I swallow. It's a ritual we have every three months.

As the leader of the frumentarii, I am compelled to dispell several rumours that are circling the Legion camps: -Styx is NOT pregnant. -Sprig and Antony are NOT "seeing eachother" -And most importantly: We are NOT sacrificing Angio to the gays. I will not repeat myself.

50 caps for anyone who can pet Lupa without getting bitten.

So I accidentally squirted myself in the face with some "Eau de Toilette" Whatever old world relic that is... Anyway, my eyes now sting but at least they smell like "Vanilla Milkshake"

Many people speak with tremendous confidence despite being entirely incorrect.

Clarification: Despite increasingly persistent rumours, I am not involved in a romantic relationship with Lanius. As much as I would appreciate such an arrangement, I appear to have been denied this particular victory.

I have been accused of glaring. I was simply observing. Though given some of the reactions I received, I can only assume several people believed they had done something worth worrying about.

It appears even Enclave correspondence is now being filtered into “probable spam.” An interesting classification, though accurate. It seems even automated systems are developing better judgement than some factions.

I have now received multiple reports regarding "a large intimidating figure producing metallic noises." For the final time: that is Lanius. I am beginning to understand why Caesar has such little patience these days.

Update: What was originally believed to be an isolated spoon theft now appears to be a coordinated act spanning both the Fort and Cottonwood Cove. If anyone encounters an individual moving through camp accompanied by persistent metallic clinking, report them immediately.

There appears to be a spoon missing from camp supplies. Investigation Ongoing.

Unfortunately I don't really have a choice. If I didn't blend in, I would be shot on sight.

Lanius needs his repost privileges taken away again.