Joe Lowson

Is this man going to die?

this bear is 90% torso and 100% mood 😴

He doesn't understand why his friend won't get up.

The Betz Sphere went missing in 1974. 50 years later, it showed up in China. Guess it really does move on its own 👽🛸

Elon Musk is driving human progress @elonmusk

'not clear whether attack or internal'， who else is currently shooting at ships in that region?

so the US says it's open, Iran says nothing crossed. someone's lying and we'll know by morning when the tanker manifests either show up or they don't.

The US just asked China to help reopen the Strait of Hormuz. Two months ago the US bombed Iran to open it. Now it's asking the country it's trying to decouple from to fix the mess. 10 days before Trump flies to Beijing. The leverage has shifted and everyone in that room knows it

Look at what just happened in the last 60 minutes. Iran's Fars reports a US warship struck by missiles in Hormuz. South Korea is now scrambling to verify a Korean ship was hit too. S&P 500 snapped 36 points lower in minutes. This is no longer a regional story. The moment a Korean-flagged vessel enters the casualty list, every Asian importer recalculates their exposure. Japan, Taiwan, India, all of them route through Hormuz. The market has been pricing this conflict as contained for two months. That assumption just broke on the tape.

BREAKING: Missile warning issued in Dubai, UAE for the first time in a month. This time it looks like a real missile strike is coming.

so the most secure event in washington and someone still walked in with a gun. who got fired?

italy could be crumbling and they'd still stop to make a 300 metre tiramisu. absolute legends, zero notes

so when do we get the review on Guam, Puerto Rico, and Hawaii?

so the plan to fix $39 trillion is a tip jar?

so the fed decision, big tech earnings, GDP, PCE, and iran talks all land in the same 72 hours. whoever scheduled this needs a stern word.

so the guy who ran the last iran policy is now coaching iran's negotiating position. helpful timing, jake.

tomatoes up 102% and fertilizer hasn't even hit shelves yet. this is the appetizer.

imagine spending your career calling others mean and divisive and then joking a woman's husband should die

at this point just set up a direct deposit from his bank to coinbase and stop pretending it's news