Writer. Professor of New Writing at Birkbeck. New book Between the Lines out May '26. Represented by @RebeccasBooks https://xitter.cf/t.co/mzWTCeod3M views my own

London and Berlin
Joined February 2009
The algorithm puts us in boxes. The workshop brings us together. BETWEEN THE LINES - May 7
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Julia Bell retweeted
New essay on the professor of new writing's inaugural lecture @BirkbeckUoL @JuliaBell open.substack.com/pub/joolsa…
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Tesco make £3 billion plus profits and yet nearly ALL of their shop floor staff are in receipt of universal credit. Shareholders and profits directly subsidised by the taxpayer. Tescos are the benefit scroungers. How hard can it be to outlaw this?
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Julia Bell retweeted
Peruse the gorgeously illustrated AI Resist List and sign up to receive updates here! airesistlist.org
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Julia Bell retweeted
If you want to unite the kingdom, go and volunteer in your community, go and chat with your neighbour or join a local litter pick. Don’t march through London with MAGA racists chanting “Allah, Allah, Who the F*** is Allah”
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Julia Bell retweeted
Yikes, imagine if our national conversation sounded a bit more like this more often?
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Julia Bell retweeted
A retweet by Zack Polanski is now the main story across every single media outlet. Two days ago, it was revealed that Nigel Farage failed to disclose a £5 million gift from a crypto-billionaire. It gets nowhere near the media attention, for straightforward political reasons.
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A trick that I think @TheGreenParty is missing is mass, highly organised rubbish collections by Young Greens. Flood an area like this, with 500+ activists from around country. Let young members lead it. Get skips. Recycle what can be. Be visible. It’s time for a Green Guard.
More updates taken yesterday. Labour’s legacy in Greenwich. A disgrace.
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Not enough focus on the fact that taxpayer subsidies for bars and restaurants are as high as £5.8 million per year (for the House of Commons alone, £7-8 million including Lords) MPs base salaries are 93k PA. They not only shouldn’t be pissed at work, but we pay for it!
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Green Party: we will re-nationalise water, tax wealth, and lead a green Industrial Revolution. Labour Party: we will defend to the death MPs right to get pissed at work on the taxpayers expense.
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And of course Farage misrepresents what Hannah is saying. "An afternoon pint" is different to drinking on a work day and then going to vote on decisions for millions of people. I'd explain this to him but he's been running away from a debate with me for months and months!
The Greens are happy to legalise heroin and crack, but now we learn they think an afternoon pint is a step too far. Make it make sense.
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Julia Bell retweeted
Look, even if there is a case, a REAL case, for allowing MPs to drink in their work breaks before returning to vote, it is utterly indefensible that they drink at a rate subsidised by you & me. All the fancy food is one thing, but tax payer funded booze is just a joke.
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Julia Bell retweeted
Hannah rocks up to Westminster and suggests that perhaps MPs shouldn’t be pissed at work, and the establishment goes into meltdown. Nice work Hannah 💚
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Ok… this is a remarkable post…and very very damning. It’s not even hard to follow the money it is literally signposting itself…
I have three monitors on my desk. The left one shows the order book. The middle one shows Truth Social. The right one shows the investigation queue. On April 21st, the left screen moved first. I am a Senior Surveillance Analyst at a commodities exchange. I have held this position for nineteen years. My job is to monitor trading activity for suspicious patterns and generate compliance reports. I am employee of the quarter. I have a mug. At 19:54 GMT on April 21st, someone placed 4,260 sell orders on Brent crude futures. They did this during post-settlement. The window after the market closes when daily volume is typically in the dozens. Sometimes single digits. Sometimes I watch the screen and nothing happens for forty minutes and I think about whether my daughter is happy. On April 21st, someone placed $430 million in directional bets in 120 seconds during that window. One hundred and twenty seconds. I timed it on my watch because the system clock rounds to the nearest minute and I have found, in nineteen years, that precision matters to no one but me. At 20:10 GMT, the President posted on Truth Social that he was extending the Iran ceasefire. Brent dropped from $100.91 to $96.83. I flagged the trade. I flag a lot of trades. I want to tell you what happens to my flags. My flags go into a system called TRACE. Trade Review and Compliance Evaluation. I did not name it. The system generates a report. The report goes to a committee. The committee has a name I am not allowed to share but I can tell you it meets quarterly and the conference room has a credenza with bottled water that is sparkling because someone once put still water in the room and a managing director sent an email about it that was longer than most of my surveillance reports. The committee reviews my flags. The committee has reviewed all of my flags. Here is the complete record of actions taken on my flags in 2026: Reviewed. That's it. "Reviewed" is a status. In compliance, a status is the absence of an action that has been given a name so it looks like one. Let me show you my flags. March 9th. Someone bet millions on oil falling at 18:29 GMT. Forty-seven minutes later, a CBS reporter posted that the President said the Iran war was "very complete, pretty much." Oil dropped 25%. Forty-seven minutes. I flagged it. March 23rd. Someone sold 5,100 lots of Brent and WTI crude futures between 10:49 and 10:50 GMT. Fourteen minutes later, the President posted on Truth Social about a "COMPLETE AND TOTAL RESOLUTION" to hostilities. Oil dropped 11%. Over 13,000 contracts traded in sixty seconds after the post. Fourteen minutes. I flagged it. April 7th. Someone established a $950 million short position in oil futures at 19:45 GMT. Three hours later, the President declared a two-week ceasefire. Nine hundred and fifty million dollars. I flagged it. April 17th. Someone placed $760 million in bearish bets twenty minutes before Iran's foreign minister confirmed the Strait of Hormuz would reopen. Seven hundred and sixty million. I flagged it. April 21st. The $430 million. Fifteen minutes. I flagged it. That is $2.1 billion in directional oil bets in April alone. Every one of them landed on the correct side of a presidential announcement. Every one of them was placed in a window so narrow you could measure it in bathroom breaks. I flagged every single one. The CFTC chair told a Congressional committee that his organization has "zero tolerance" for fraud and insider trading. I wrote that quote on a Post-it note and stuck it to my right monitor. The one that shows the investigation queue. The investigation queue has not moved since March. Zero tolerance. Zero staff. Zero budget. Zero prosecutions under the STOCK Act since it was signed in 2012. Fourteen years. The law has existed for fourteen years and has been enforced zero times. In compliance, we call that a compliance rate of one hundred percent. No cases filed means no cases lost. You cannot fail an audit you never conduct. We call that excellence. Last month the White House sent an internal email to staff. I was not on the distribution list but I have read reporting on it and I need you to sit with what I am about to say. The email instructed White House staff not to use insider information to place bets on prediction markets. The White House had to send a memo telling its own employees not to insider-trade. I want you to read that sentence again. Not because the instruction was unclear. Because the instruction was necessary. Because someone in the building looked at the same pattern I have been flagging for months on my three monitors and decided the appropriate response was an email. The President's son sits on the advisory board of Kalshi. He is an investor in Polymarket. Both are prediction markets. Both saw accounts created days before U.S. military action. One account. I cannot stop thinking about this account. It was called "Burdensome-Mix." It was created in December. On January 2nd, it placed $32,500 on Venezuela's president being removed from power. On January 3rd, Maduro was seized by U.S. special forces. Burdensome-Mix collected $436,000. Then it changed its username. Then it disappeared. One account is a coincidence. But there were six. Six accounts were created on Polymarket in February. All bet on U.S. strikes on Iran by the 28th. When the President confirmed the strikes, the six accounts collected $1.2 million between them. Five of the six never placed another bet. The sixth went on to correctly predict the ceasefire date and made another $163,000. My surveillance system logged all of this. My system logs everything. My system does not have opinions and neither do I. I generate reports. The reports go to committees. The committees meet quarterly. Between meetings, the windows get shorter and the bets get larger. March 9th: 47 minutes. March 23rd: 14 minutes. April 17th: 20 minutes. April 21st: 15 minutes. The window is compressing. In March, you had time to make coffee between the trade and the announcement. By April, you had time to send a text. By summer, at this rate, the trade and the announcement will be the same event. The spokesman said any implication that administration officials are engaged in insider trading is "baseless and irresponsible reporting." Then the White House sent the email again. I have been in compliance for nineteen years. I have seen insider trading run out of strip mall offices by men who could not spell "derivative." I have seen pump-and-dump schemes coordinated over WhatsApp by people who used their real names. I have seen a man try to manipulate soybean futures from a Panera Bread. I have never seen $2.1 billion in perfectly timed trades across five presidential announcements in a single month go uninvestigated. But I have also never seen a compliance system work this beautifully. Every trade flagged. Every report filed. Every committee briefed. Every quarterly meeting attended. Bottled water: sparkling. Minutes: distributed. Zero prosecutions. As long as the flags go up and the cases don't, my performance review says I am meeting expectations. I am meeting expectations. The system is meeting expectations. The $2.1 billion is meeting expectations. The fourteen-year-old law with zero prosecutions is meeting expectations. The left screen moves. The middle screen moves. The right screen stays perfectly, immaculately still. In my field, we call this price discovery.
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Julia Bell retweeted
Farage has spiralled & self-radicalised, which is why Reform’s polling lower & lower. Mass-stripping of recognised, settled refugees of protection & legal status is NOT something normal British people want. These Trump-style evil & destructive politics are not wanted here.
BREAKING NEWS Reform UK will review all successful asylum grants over the last 5 years. We will revoke leave to remain & deport those who entered the UK illegally or overstayed their visas. These measures are in addition to the 600k removals under Operation Restoring Justice.
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Real copies are here!! May 7th out in the wild. Can’t wait for you to read it - preorder here: uk.bookshop.org/p/books/betw…
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New Substack - Soft is the New Hard open.substack.com/pub/profes…
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I wasn’t going to add another post. I am supposed to be writing my inaugural lecture. But stuff happened this week that I wanted to comment on. That stuff being the muscular, well-known writer who used AI to polish off his review for the NYT. Oh crikey. open.substack.com/pub/profes…
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Did @BBCr4today really just do a whole package about drilling in the N Sea without once even mentioning #climate change? And not having anyone challenging the one-sided claims of former BP boss? So irresponsible #bbcr4today
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Julia Bell retweeted
Replying to @ZoeJardiniere
A falling birth rate means we need more immigrants. A stable population has a TFR of 2.1. Britain has a rate of 1.4. Britain is getting older without an influx of younger people. Care costs will rise and people will be priced out of retirement. #maths theguardian.com/uk-news/2025…
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