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(This part is superfluous)

@MommyWhoPosts

Also on BS and IG. Featured in @readersdigest and @thefunnytweeter. Only my tweets in link below. Copyright 2020.

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Joined June 2020
  • Tweets6.9K
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Me to the ice maker: Can I please just have a few cub- Ice dispenser: YOU MUST SACRIFICE 20 CUBES TO THE FLOOR GOD!!!
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My eldest cleaned the play room all by herself and threatened my youngest not to mess it up for a whole week and I’ve never felt more seen.
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Get married and have kids so you can say things like “Siri set a one hour timer for ‘garbage mermaid’.”
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I’m so sorry CVS I was not aware of your fall game.
Image from (This part is superfluous) (@MommyWhoPosts)
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It feels like the right time to bring back “Home Improvement” and all its man-centric Binford glory.
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Aargh aargh aargh
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You either slept or your eyes were torture-style forced to watch the same movie at the front of the cabin en masse with all the other fliers. We used to be a country!
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(This part is superfluous) retweeted
meghan (@deloisivete) profile picture
meghan
@deloisiveteAug 3
Bye, have a great first day. I’ll see you after school, I tell the fruit in my kid’s lunch
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Okay I’m pretty sure someone keeps coming into my house at night and sprinkling droplets of coffee all over my baseboards.
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At this rate we are headed for a haunted a** dickensian holiday season.
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Very funny guys who put this coffee on the ceiling?
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Oh but when it’s somebody else’s panic attack suddenly I’m Matthew Mcconaughey
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My husband bringing me coffee in bed: “PSL for your DSL, m’lady…”
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You ever so middle aged that you forget to shower in the shower?
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Thing about me is, if you f wit me, ima CC all pertinent parties to this reply until you get right
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Me: Oh my angel, I loved having you in my belly… 5: *dead eyes* That was a long time ago.
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(This part is superfluous) retweeted
Jennifer Parker (@Mrs_JParker) profile picture
Jennifer Parker@Mrs_JParker30 Apr 2025
6yo: Mom, can you stop sleeping? You look like you’re dead.
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(This part is superfluous) retweeted
meghan (@deloisivete) profile picture
meghan
@deloisivete29 Apr 2025
Who decided the gas pump tv should turn on right when you start fueling, that seems like a terrible time to startle someone
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(This part is superfluous) retweeted
The Real Rodney Lacroix (@RealRodLacroix) profile picture
The Real Rodney Lacroix
@RealRodLacroix28 Apr 2025
Trying to buy my mom a souvenir in Greece and she is being difficult.
Image from The Real Rodney Lacroix (@RealRodLacroix)
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(This part is superfluous) retweeted
Bob Golen (@BobGolen) profile picture
Bob Golen
@BobGolen29 Apr 2025
Scientists theorize that the sub-atomic particles in our bodies are as old as the universe. I think my knee particles are older.
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(This part is superfluous) retweeted
meghan (@deloisivete) profile picture
meghan
@deloisivete29 Apr 2025
Husband: you should get out more Me: *goes shopping* Husband: not like that
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