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@MommyWhoPosts

Also on BS and IG. Featured in @readersdigest and @thefunnytweeter. Only my tweets in link below. Copyright 2020.

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Joined June 2020
  • Tweets6.9K
  • Following618
  • Followers1.3K
1.2KMedia
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meghan (@deloisivete) profile picture
meghan
@deloisiveteAug 3
Bye, have a great first day. I’ll see you after school, I tell the fruit in my kid’s lunch
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Jennifer Parker (@Mrs_JParker) profile picture
Jennifer Parker@Mrs_JParker30 Apr 2025
6yo: Mom, can you stop sleeping? You look like you’re dead.
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meghan (@deloisivete) profile picture
meghan
@deloisivete29 Apr 2025
Who decided the gas pump tv should turn on right when you start fueling, that seems like a terrible time to startle someone
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The Real Rodney Lacroix (@RealRodLacroix) profile picture
The Real Rodney Lacroix
@RealRodLacroix28 Apr 2025
Trying to buy my mom a souvenir in Greece and she is being difficult.
Image from The Real Rodney Lacroix (@RealRodLacroix)
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Bob Golen (@BobGolen) profile picture
Bob Golen
@BobGolen29 Apr 2025
Scientists theorize that the sub-atomic particles in our bodies are as old as the universe. I think my knee particles are older.
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meghan (@deloisivete) profile picture
meghan
@deloisivete29 Apr 2025
Husband: you should get out more Me: *goes shopping* Husband: not like that
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meeka (@MeekyBlinders) profile picture
meeka@MeekyBlinders12 Jan 2025
aspartame will not give me cancer because diet coke can sense I'm pure of heart
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Stella Chat BPD (@redrum_panda) profile picture
Stella Chat BPD@redrum_panda18 Dec 2024
Its crazy how if you get good grades they just let you raw dog adhd your whole life
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I refer to one of my neighbors as the “older lady on the end,” but it turns out she’s like my age.
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astr0z0mbreez (@astr0z0mbreez) profile picture
astr0z0mbreez@astr0z0mbreez9 Dec 2024
I’m sorry I used your Tibetan singing bowl for my spaghetti.
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Bob Golen (@BobGolen) profile picture
Bob Golen
@BobGolen3 Dec 2024
Potent
Image from Bob Golen (@BobGolen)
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NurseBrianRN (@rn_murse) profile picture
NurseBrianRN@rn_murse1 Dec 2024
quitting my job to focus on decorating the tree
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mike ginn (@shutupmikeginn) profile picture
mike ginn@shutupmikeginn1 Dec 2024
guy cleaning a diner bathroom let me walk in but said “no poo poo” and I very seriously nodded and assured him “no poo poo”
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garshmo (@garshmo) profile picture
garshmo@garshmo27 Nov 2024
Girls knit cause they are spiders
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Ron Iver (@ronnui_) profile picture
Ron Iver@ronnui_19 Nov 2024
God sends his most incorrect food & drink orders to his most conflict avoidant soldiers
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Mommeh Dearest (@mommeh_dearest) profile picture
Mommeh Dearest@mommeh_dearest14 Nov 2024
I really glad my doctor removed that big, dark mole on my leg and left an even bigger and darker scar in its place
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meghan (@deloisivete) profile picture
meghan
@deloisivete3 Nov 2024
I had to download a menu today just to take a look. What's next, do I have to print it? Wait for a monk to write it out on a scroll?
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Joy Marie Clarkson (@joynessthebrave) profile picture
Joy Marie Clarkson@joynessthebrave18 Oct 2024
Brat summer is out, attic wife autumn is in. We’re hissing at people. We’re withdrawing from society. We’re growing our hair below our waist. We’re setting fire to his curtains. We’re gaslighting his new side piece.
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sarah (@sarahradz_) profile picture
sarah@sarahradz_14 Oct 2024
Halloween is great because it combines two of my favorite hobbies: driving out to a wet farm to handpick the heaviest inedible vegetable I can find, and taking my small disguised children out past their bedtimes to roam the streets in darkness
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i deserve and can be trusted with roof access to every building
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