Al

Tesco Express in Wolverhampton had sold out of guardians at 8:30 today

But who's going to present Big Brother's Little Brother now? Will be the judge be thinking of THAT?

Is the injunction guy just Walliams again? Or is there yet another nonce in town?

Doing his best impression of a metre stick

Not sure if I can see a downside to Burnham coming out and saying there won't be any repelarations for slavery, that's the end of it, case closed. Would be popular with the public and just the truth. There's no way we're ever going to pay anyway

Huge spoiler alert on the front of the guardian. I didn't want to find out about whether we'd pay the Carribbean reparations until tonight. Also, it has a big picture of the Traitors ending

Rishi Sunak was mocked for admitting that everyone in his family eats different bread. Imagine if the press found out that me, my wife and kids just got four different deliveroos

I'm probably a bit more tolerant of management speak than most but "baked in" to mean included or taken into account really grinds my tits

It can't be that difficult for the royal family to have to face a paedophile story. They can just dust off last month's press release and update the names

I quite enjoyed the fact they banished Jeri entirely because she's vaguely tiresome and they're not mates with her. The first ever "you're just a bit annoying" banishment?

1000 years is the statute of limitations of looking at dead bodies. When someone has been dead for a millennium, it's totally fine to gawp at them

Fucking spoiler alert!!! They spoilt their own show #thetraitors

If your husband isn't sharing that real money with you, set fire to him while he sleeps

So I guess we've finally settled the "can tigers be friends with people" debate

God, this is awful. It's about time the government provided free schools!

It just occurred to me that it's mildly intriguing that Eminem knows who Dennis the Menace is (as evidenced in the 2002 song Drips) More deep insights from me later this week

OR - maybe it's kind of OK that childcare benefits be directed towards less wealthy people, given that the government doesn't have infinite money

A few years ago I got taken to lunch at The Delaney and Richard E Grant was there. I thought at the time "I hope that guy never goes in The Traitors, he'd be awful at keeping a secret"

The task, which only serves to elongate the show and distract from the point

They're milking this a bit now. Get on with it!