Lewisham born and bred| Essayist| Bylines in @Telegraph @NewStatesman @unherd @spikedonline @spectator |Member of St Peter's Church, Brockley
London, England
Joined May 2011
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One of the things my dad would always emphasise is that the worst thing a human being can experience is hopelessness. This raises a confronting question: what exactly are you placing your hope in? Because whatever it is can ultimately shape the path your life takes.
De-escalation is a valuable life skill. It requires recognising risks and knowing when to disengage. Some people are genuinely unwell or simply looking for an excuse to lash out. Being smart isn't about winning every confrontation, but knowing which ones to avoid.
one type of person i never befriend is someone who creates conflict with strangers in public - especially in cars/traffic.
people are CRAZY. real life is not your sassy twitter feed. people will shoot you (and your company should you be foolish “big and bad” while with others.)
befriend people who de-escalate. getting home + living a long life > ego
It's an identity-based slur. People are free to use such language, but it reveals an inability to criticise someone without resorting to crude, identity-based attacks. You can disagree vehemently without abandoning basic standards of discourse. It's really quite simple.
‘Look, everything’s racist nowadays!’
Nigel Farage’s former adviser @RaheemKassam defends calling Kemi Badenoch a ‘Nigerian scammer’.
Every human being navigating a broken world carries some of that brokenness within them. The question is whether we're perpetuating the cycle. Before speaking, ask yourself: “Am I uplifting others, or simply bringing them down because of my own struggles with life?”
When the whole “top 9 games that shaped me” trend was going around, I quickly realised my list was shaped less by the quality of the gameplay and more by the memories attached to each game. Unsurprisingly, those tended to be games I played with friends in person.
This is probably the most powerful excerpt I've read of C.S Lewis. There are two particular things that stand out: 1) the person who has successfully eliminated every possibility of being hurt has also eliminated the possibility of participating in love.
I constantly see ads from The Telegraph and The Times on these topics. Is this simply “slice of life” journalism reflecting the habits of certain middle-class circles, or an attempt at social engineering to normalise these conversations? Either way, I find it so strange.
Let me correct myself. Even the everyday use of language has been captured by rhetorical agendas. It's terrible communication. Important points get lost because people are more concerned with making a rhetorical impact than communicating clearly.
'A third of British children are living in poverty… that is violence to me.'
The Greens' @floschechter calls for people inspired by French protests to join an upcoming anti-austerity march.
@BenKentish asks if they condemn the violence that took place in Europe last week.
My biggest fear for civilisation is that people genuinely don't know how to cultivate a shared life together. Wanting something is different from having the psychological, moral and relational tools to understand what you need and how to pursue it.
Debating how much I want to weigh in on this femosphere issue.
I hate how flippantly these women describe divorce. I hate that I might, as a divorced woman, be implicated in this cultural narrative. Divorce is serious — and sometimes the only or best option. There’s nothing fun about it. It’s nice that people argue that divorced women aren’t used-up trash. But when people start acting like the commitment of marriage/family means nothing, they’re essentially encouraging people to be selfish jerks who see relationships as purely transactional. “Just move on and find someone better” is a detestable way to look at commitment.
I wouldn’t change the course of my life — because I ended up with two perfect sons. But I do reflect upon my former naivety when it came to knowing myself and knowing what sort of person I could/should build a life with. I don’t think I had a proper understanding of what I needed to give or receive.
Currently, I wish there was a better cultural narrative for young women to absorb than this crap. Such vapid commentary from “Call Her Daddy” certainly won’t spare anyone from making bad choices.
Outside of those in Britain, I know that Sunday Oliseh (Ajax/Juventus) and Seyi Olofinjana (Wolves/Stoke) played in Nigeria's domestic league while attending university. Wilfred Ndidi also studied at De Montfort University while playing for Leicester. But rare indeed.
I felt this walking through the Nigerian Modernism exhibition at Tate Modern. You could resonate with the struggles around identity and belonging. Artists seeking to make sense of a newly independent nation, navigating competing ethnic, cultural and national identities.
It has been eye-opening to discover how much time a PM can seem to have on their hands. I used to imagine these roles were so demanding that there would be little time for promotional appearances such as this or LADbible.
